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Do schools kill creativity - TED Summary - Sir Ken Robinson


fadhilmd25 41 / 75 11  
Sep 17, 2016   #1
Sir Ken Robinson delivered his presentation about how important is creativity. At the beginning, he stated that everybody has interested in education, or formal education. The capacity of young children to learn things are extraordinary compared to adult do as they have enough creativity. In reality, children with full of creativity may forgot them as they grow older. This is because creativity needs to come with original ideas or interest which makes it difficult for adult to do it.

Furthermore, the intelligence itself is based on 2 things: diverse, which demand as to think in every way, not just being short-minded person and dynamic, which supports the originality of the idea. This foundation should become the important notes for the people, who think that academic ability as well as the most useful subjects are the parameter of successful person.

angga93 42 / 74 20  
Sep 17, 2016   #2
....about how important is creativity.
>>>...about how important creativity is.

...everybody has interested in education, or formal education.
>>>...everybody take an interest in education, particularly the formal one ; "or" is improper here

The capacity of young children to learn things are extraordinary...
>>> pay attention to subject-verb agreement

...as they have enough creativity.
>>>don't adults have enough creativity? may be the proper statement is "they are more creative"

In reality, children with full of creativity may forgot them as they grow older.
>>>what's "them" refer to?
dils 20 / 33 2  
Sep 18, 2016   #3
Hi Fadhil,

What a very interesting topic, you talk about creativity and education. Concerned with that, here I give you some suggestions about your writing.

1. "In reality, children with full of creativity may forgot them as they grow older." I suggest u to modify this sentence because this is confusing the readers. Make sure the word "them" is referring to something that you have mentioned at previous sentence.

2. "This is because creativity needs to come [up] with original ideas or interest . This is about parallelism, so it sholud be interests.

3. "...which makes it difficult for adult to do it ." This is confusing, the word "it" refers to?

4. "...which demand as to think in every way,..." what is this part means?

Over all, please pay attention to how you create the flow of this writing. Notify that a good passage is easy to understand. Also, the cohesion of the idea which construct the whole passage needs to improve.

Good luck


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