Unanswered [3] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 4

'Science deserves more attention' - IELTS Task2

vickywang 2 / 5  
May 28, 2012   #1
These days people pay more attention to artists (writers, painters and so on) and give less importance to science and technology. Do you agree or disagree with this view?

Nowadays, art has drawn more attention than science did. For example, people concentrate on the scandals and gossip about artists, as a result, science and technology has been ignored by public.

Culture construction is important. Sometimes art can satisfy the mental for individual, which means some kinds of art can relax people from daily work, like listening to the music, watching movies, visiting the museum would be the good way to release people.

Besides, encouragement will be given to person to insist to their dream and make contribution to the world by telling some successful stories about artists.

However, the world may become a completely stagnant field due to too much public attention on art. Art can only meet the mental requirement, while the basic conditions could not be finished without science and technology.

Especially the modern technology, the primary driving force behinds the development of modern society, results in higher productivity and greater ease. Undeniable, modern technology revolution life in three main fields: work, transport and communication. Although modern technology is often blamed for stress and alienation, I doubt that many people would want to turn back the clock to the pre-technology age.

Science deserves more attention. Mass media should take the responsibility to cover the reports about science and technology instead of arts. On the national level, the government should fulfill its obligation in raising public awareness of the significance of science, and encourage more talent people throw themselves into this kind of fields and make contribution to the development of us human-beings.

ah_zafari [Contributor] 40 / 672 148  
May 28, 2012   #2
I think you should improve your information about an appropriate structure of a paragraph and you should organize your essay in a better way. In the type of "agree and disagree" essay, it would be better to be in agreement with the topic or on the opposite side. Do not choose both (agree and disagree) becasue you are not going to compare two things. In face you are going to support your opinion in three paragraphs.

You should be careful about grammar, especially parts of speech.
hadi1981 25 / 44  
May 29, 2012   #3

I am sorry to say that you should follow a teacher or an IELTS Book information to be strict with IELTS rules

Good luck
OP vickywang 2 / 5  
May 30, 2012   #4
Thanks for your advices. I do need to structure the paragraphs.
maybe.I think,when i was writting a essay,
i always translate from my native language.and maybe,that's why my sentences are always not completely,,
there are so many mistakes.
thank you very much~~

Home / Writing Feedback / 'Science deserves more attention' - IELTS Task2