would love some feedback.
Science VS Religion
Which is best for us?
Science and religion have battled each other for centuries and the war wages on. It is probably the oldest conflict known to mankind, and it doesn't seem to be nearing an end. Which is best for us? Which brings man closer to the truth? Let us find some answers.
One of the oldest arguments for religion to be better for humanity is that it comforts a man spiritually. Man's lust for something supernatural has always made him wonder. When it comes to science, there cannot be such a thing called supernatural. Everything should be logically explained.
Religion has asked man to simply believe what it has to say. In other words, it asks us to "have faith". Doesn't seem fair does it? Science on the other hand says something different: "this is what I think, and here's the proof". This is what has given science a slight edge over the war during the past few centuries. Man has always been able to grasp anything has been offered to him with proof. To be honest, I too feel that anything proved to be correct is worth believing. But there's a small problem.
Proof of something makes it worth believing. Proving that the same thing is false makes it confusing. Charles Darwin once said about his theory of evolution "I have enough evidence to evolution is real, I have even more evidence to prove that it is not!". What is the point of proving something if it is going to be proved wrong another day? For example Newton's laws of physics were proved to be wrong by Einstein 300 years after Newton's death. Einstein's new theories were able to change the modern scientist's view of the universe. But how long is it going to be until somebody else comes and proves that Einstein's theories were wrong? This has been something man has not been able to see. Religion has always remained the same, nothing has changed. But science changes every day!
Both science and religion have been a significant contributor to man's dominance over other beings. Religion has always been able to unite man as one, whereas science has given man the ability and passion to achieve great feats that were once thought to be impossible. But what is important realize is that both science and religion are trying to answer the same questions. Who are we? What are we doing here? What is our purpose? They may have different methods to answer these questions, but in the end it is obvious that mankind needs a delicate balance of both science and religion.
I like your essay however it sounds like you are talking to yourself, you didn't specify what the instructions are so my advice may not be as helpful, throughout the essay you emphasize on how science comes on top of religion yet at the end you state that men need a balance, if i were you i would try to engage the reader by showing both points of view equal and have your opinion at the end so the reader could make its own decision.
You essay is a great work. Grammar, organization and vocabulary all are good. But I have some suggestions with regard to the content of the essay that you will find them below (hope the comments help :))))One of the oldest arguments forover religion to be better for humanity is that it comforts a man spiritually. Man's lust for something supernatural has always made him wonder. When it comes to science, there cannot be such a thing called supernatural. Everything should be logically explained.
it is not clear why religion works better than science in the case of supernatural issues. May be an example could clarify this matter.
Religion has askedasks man to simply believe what it has to say. In other words, it asks(use synonym. U used this word in the previous sentence.) us to "have faith". Doesn't (do not use contractions in writing) seem fair does it? Science, on the other hand, says something different: "this is what I think, and here's the proof". This is what has given science a slight edge over the war during the past few centuries. Man has always been able to grasp anything has been offered to him with proof. To be honest, I too feel that anything proved to be correct is worth believing. But there's a small problem. (If I were you, I would talk about the issue of the existence of God. There is no scientific evidence to prove the existence of God, but religion asks people to believe this fact (Just a suggestion). I think if you support your ideas by using such examples you can make your discussion more tangible and attractive)
But science changes every day!
suggestion :"
Science has a dynamic nature and it continuously experiences new changes.Why has religion kept intact for centuries but science changes every day? I think you should clarify it if i were you i would try to engage the reader by showing both points of view equal and have your opinion at the end so the reader could make its own decision.
Yes... there is little told about how religion comes ahead of science to help people when they are in need. For example, when you are sick and doctors don't provide you with any hope (in other words when science has failed to give a solution) then you turn to religion to find refuge.
I think the point trennty_09 highlights would achieve a good balance for this essay. Anyway, good job and it's well written! : )overall, a sound essay, but in need of more evidence. a lot of claims are made but not really substantiated.
I'm not a good writer technically but I will try to help with the content sides of things. First, I think you give a more balanced with pros and cons equally on both sides of the argument (if that is your task to do so, not pick a side). Seems like you seem to be in favour of science a bit too much. Try put yourselves into an intelligent sensible religious person's mind when giving out arguments on the religious side.
I my self am studying toefl, but I wanted to remind you using clear examples for any paragraph is essential in order to prove your declaration.
However I really liked the ideas you mentioned.
Hi, May I know if it's a essay for IELTS?
no no it's just something I wrote for fun. It is an issue in the world that simply caught my eye. :) I'm neither really interested in science or religion that much. Bit of a free thinker. ;)
it's just something I wrote for fun
Sounds great! ^__^
I think it is not NEWTON is wrong - science has its domain. newtonaian physics still works fine for the micro picture. I think the exploration of science is for people to come up with explanations that may be able to explain the phenomena and then apply the knowledge. if the application part works, science works. that's kind of utilitarian though
sorry for unclear expression. hope i somehow can make you understand what i feel about it.
i feel the wording of the para somehow makes me uncomfortable. maybe the categorical words like "wrong"? maybe "not providing a completing picture" is better
Man has always been able to grasp anything that has been offered to him with proof. To be honest, I too feel that anything proved to be correct is worth believing. But there's a small problem.
Your essay is great. I like your perspective and diction . I really think that you should put yourself in the mind of a more religious person to try as much as possible to provide pertinent point to solidfy the arguement from a religious pespective.
Well, no school of thought has a concerete evidence that has explain the evolution of man. But science has done the world more good and more harm at same time than religion has. This is why the world we continue to remain a mystery.
Overall, this is a great essay
a great essay ,but you could explain that how the religion support the science, instead of which one the best
regards
you can also include ,
"Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind." by Albert Einstein
