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Scientist and tourists now able to travel to remote environment. Advantages vs Disadvantages IELTS

thebest2016 2 / 2  
Apr 29, 2016   #1
It is now possible for scientists and tourists to travel to remote natural environment such as South Pole. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

It is commonly believed that visiting to isolated natural locations like the North Pole and the Amazon is a very unique experience not only for a research approach but also for a tourism purpose. I believe that as long as all visitors pay more attention to environment issues during their stay, the advantages of traveling such areas outweigh the disadvantages.

First of all, it is generally said that the remote natural places always attract many scientists regarding their study in terms of ecosystem, global warming and other subjects. It helps expand their knowledge by collecting data and samples, and give them opportunities to figure out problems what mankind is facing nowadays such as climate change.

Secondly, remote natural areas are usually known for natural resources, oil, gas and minerals, hence it is essential for researchers to gather accurate information from there in order to manage and develop the resources for human beings' future. In this regards, scientists should take this advantage to accomplish their investigation for mankind.

Furthermore, tourists can also benefit from the current trend as they can experience extraordinary scenery compared with other views they have ever seen. There is no doubt that it is worth a visit such undeveloped tourism places because the chance can offer only once in a life time experience.

However, the most concern from the government and local authorities is that an increase in the number of visitors causes more environmental problems. It is obvious that more buildings for accommodations and restaurants are to be built to serve travellers and this will consequently lead to environmental issues like air pollution and rubbish disposal.

In conclusion, as previously stated, access to remote natural locations provide more benefits to human beings. Therefore, people must be aware of the importance of environment at first in the region.
ichanpants89 [Contributor] 16 / 777 309  
Apr 29, 2016   #2
Hi mate, I would like to say that your essay is quite understandable even though you separated it into many paragraphs. I reckon that you have a good control of grammar, the things that I've noticed in your essay is that you seem unaware of using accurate punctuation. Perhaps next time you can use more accurate punctuation by placing 'comma' if it is necessary. For example, 'It is commonly believed that, visiting to isolated...', '...a very unique experience, not only for a research approach, but also for...'

With regards to the flow of your ideas, if the prompt is about 'advantages outweigh disadvantages', you need to focus on the thing that you want to tackle first. This can possibly make the examiner think that disadvantages can truly be outweighed by the advantages, which in your essay you wrote the opposite. Then, another suggestion from me is that, you need to make your paragraphing as intact as possible. Instead of making 6 paragraphs, it is better to make 1 clear introduction paragraph, 2 strong body paragraphs, and 1 clear conclusion paragraph.

There you have it mate! Good luck for the next one! :)

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