Some people expect to be an expert. In my country, several sectors are predicted to the most popular career preferences for young people in the next five years ago. In my opinion, I believe that economic and technological sectors will be delighted in.
Well you must provide a more attractive intro if you want your essay to be appealing from the start. And.
Some people expect to be an expert
I know that you are trying to "hook" people, yet this statement does not relate so much to the prompt or even your idea. Maybe: The world keeps changing everyday, so are careers. Or The world nowadays is changing at an incredible pace. In keeping with that innovation, careers are also converting into different forms in many countries.
First of all, the economic growth arouses people's interest to
involve in.take part in . My country, Indonesia, is a developing country whichwhose the average of economic growth has increased to around 5% a year. This fact creates a positive effect foron young people to learn about trade and play the stock market which provides many vocations. For example, in 2015, Asian trade market will be begun and there is no restrictedrestriction to take a job across Asian countries. This policy arises an opportunity for young people to go on an economy drive in the internal and external country. As a result, economics will be chosen by young people as a strategic working sector.
Well I have to say your essay is well supported :) It is very specific and clear despite some minor mistakes I have pointed out :) Keep up good job :)