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[IELTS TASK 2] Some sectors request many well-qualified people - career choices for young generation


Jun 30, 2014   #1
What do you feel will be most popular career choices for young people in your country in the next five years? Explain your answer with examples

Some people expect to be an expert. In my country, several sectors are predicted to the most popular career preferences for young people in the next five years ago. In my opinion, I believe that economic and technological sectors will be delighted in.

First of all, the economic growth arouses people's interest to involve in. My country, Indonesia, is a developing country which the average of economic growth has increased to around 5% a year. This fact creates a positive effect for young people to learn about trade and play the stock market which provide many vocations. For example, in 2015, Asian trade market will be begun and there is no restricted to take a job across Asian countries. This policy arises an opportunity for young people to go on an economy drive in the internal and external country. As a result, economic will be chosen by young people as a strategic working sector.

In the second opinion, technological sector has been growing with many subcategories which need many innovative and creative workers. Firstly, creative design animation results in high salary and gives job satisfaction for some people who can think creatively and have a natural ability in the art such animation movie. In addition, Indonesia has built a technological infrastructure to implement 4G network. So, this country will absorb many experts to deal with some stakeholders and three party contractors in win-win solution. Finally, many companies have altered the method of business process from manual process to automatic process. Those companies require a system, enterprise resources planning, which can integrate all internal divisions to connect each other. This application needs some experts to operate and maintain regularly. It is obvious that technological sector supply many job vacancies.

In conclusion, those sectors which are mentioned above request many well-qualified people to join with. However, it seems to me that other sectors, entertainment and education, should be encouraged to catch young people's attention to work with.

Jun 30, 2014   #2
Some people expect to be an expert. In my country, several sectors are predicted to the most popular career preferences for young people in the next five years ago. In my opinion, I believe that economic and technological sectors will be delighted in.

Well you must provide a more attractive intro if you want your essay to be appealing from the start. And.

Some people expect to be an expert

I know that you are trying to "hook" people, yet this statement does not relate so much to the prompt or even your idea. Maybe: The world keeps changing everyday, so are careers. Or The world nowadays is changing at an incredible pace. In keeping with that innovation, careers are also converting into different forms in many countries.

First of all, the economic growth arouses people's interest to involve in.take part in . My country, Indonesia, is a developing country whichwhosethe average of economic growth has increased to around 5% a year. This fact creates a positive effect foron young people to learn about trade and play the stock market which provides many vocations. For example, in 2015, Asian trade market will be begun and there is no restrictedrestriction to take a job across Asian countries. This policy arises an opportunity for young people to go on an economy drive in the internal and external country. As a result, economics will be chosen by young people as a strategic working sector.

Well I have to say your essay is well supported :) It is very specific and clear despite some minor mistakes I have pointed out :) Keep up good job :)
Jul 3, 2014   #3
Well I have to say your essay is well supported :) It is very specific and clear despite some minor mistakes I have pointed out :) Keep up good job :)

thanks mon for your correction. It is obvious that I need to improve my skill in writing especially in grammar and lexical resource.
Jul 14, 2014   #5
Some people expect to be an expertexperts in the field of their choice . In my country, several career sectors are predicted to the most popular career preferences for young people in the next five years ago.to come . In my opinion, I believe that economic and technological sectors will be delighted in.

Well, the last part is not at all clear. You need to rephrase :(
In the second opinion, technological sector has been growing rapidly with many subcategories which need many innovative and creative workers.

It is a very good Essay.

Help with mine: IELTS;young people are encouraged to work or travel for year
Jul 17, 2014   #7
It looks like I read the economic journal, I like the content that depicted the real condition of young people in Indonesia.

I would like to remind you that should be 40 minutes. While you did it, sure you will get good mark in your exam. :D


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