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"Don't seek happiness where you lost it." TOEFL: Satisfaction of owning something


Mianmian 1 / 1  
Feb 18, 2016   #1
There is a qoute says "Don't find happiness where you lost it.". Personally, I find this saying absolutely true. People are never happy with what they have so it is understandable for them to go and search for happiness in somewhere else.

Obviously, human is born with natural curiosity - a desire of knowledge. When a person don't possess something, he or she will see it quite mysterious and intimidating, yet, very attractive. This phenomena happens due to the increasing amount of hormone Oxytocin in the body which creates an eagerness to discover. For instance, if someone tells you to close your eyes, you would probably try to open them, or in another term is the action "peeking".

The ultimate goal of evolution is to evolve, human is not an exception. This explains why people usually love challenges and try to do what they, yet, cannot do. To be the best, the attempt to do more challenging work grows, where satisfaction does not exsist of achieving a single task. The competition push each indivisual to develop and enhance themselves, meanwhile, to make better things and make life easier. To illustrate, we wouldn't have departments and buildings now if our ancestor were happy with living in caves, or similar to any historical innovation of inventions.

In conclusion, different from being greedy, it is important to have big ambition and make changes in life. However, what is more important is to our enjoy life, neither to feel bad nor to be satisfied with ourselves.

PLEASEEE GIVE COMMENTS BELOW. I"D BE VERY THANKFUL.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Feb 18, 2016   #2
I think the quote should be: Don't seek happiness where you lost it. ----- That would make more sense. It is also interesting, because it is so ironic. With anything else, it's best to search for it where you lost it. Happiness is different. This is a great theme for the essay.

I think the first paragraph is too short, and it makes you seem to misunderstand the meaning of the quote. You should think of the most important message for the reader to remember. It is the message that is important enough for you to write an essay about it? What is that message? Add a sentence about it at the beginning of the first paragraph.

You should rewrite the first sentence of the paragraph about evolution. It is too simple to say the goal of evolution is to evolve. You can say something that supports the main idea/message of the essay:

Acting in order to find happiness is not being greedy; it is the natural way for human life to unfold.

In conclusion, different from being greedy, it is important to have big ambition and make changes in life.
Ssakshijain 28 / 146 87  
Feb 18, 2016   #3
Hello, few corrections which I think should be there.

Obviously , human is born with natural curiosity - ..........Can we avoid using the word obviously?? It is really not necessary but is not suited for formal essays.

The ultimate goal of evolution is to evolve, human man
is not an exception..

To be the best, the attemptdesire to do more challenging work grows, where satisfaction does not exsist of achieving a single task.and single achievement never satisfies that desire. ......

The competition push each indivisualindividual to develop and enhance themselves, meanwhile, to make better things ([i](what kind of things??)
and make life easier..

However, what is more important is to our enjoyour life, neither to feel bad nor to be satisfied with ourselves


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