agree/ disagree? Successful people try new things and take risks rather than only doing what they already know how to do well.
I particularly wanna know whether my third paragraph clearly supports my claim or not? This is an opinion-led essay
Life is full of challenges and offers successful people many new opportunities. While many people are sluggish and indolent, attentive people are waiting for any opportunity to grab it and become successful. Seizing opportunities in life is usually tantamount to risk taking. Therefore, I agree that those who want to become successful in life, should have the courage to take risks and be ready to leave their comfort zones.
One definition of success is the state of satisfaction, as satisfaction happens when people achieve their goals in life. Achieving goals takes lots of efforts and energy. Any diligent and energetic individual who is passionate enough can follow his dreams and becomes successful. However, sometimes peoples' goals seem beyond reach and makes them to sacrifice an inferior goal to reach a superior one. That is one definition of taking risks. Immigration, for instance, in search of better studying opportunities or business development is along with leaving one's family and native land. Immigration is a risk and it might not lead to success in studies or business, but it is worth the effort.
Marriage is another form of taking risk. Those who succeed in marriage take the risk of commitment and they promise to spend the rest of their lives with only one person, their spouse. However, if they would be reluctant to take such huge risk and rather stay single, they will never experience the joy and benefits that comes with a successful marriage. In other word, many people, while they are single, knows how to full their free times with their families, going outside with their friends and pursuing their careers. Nonetheless, they might have unique control over their lonely lives, but they will definitely suffer from loneliness. If they will not be able to take the risks, they might die in solitude. Therefore, taking risks has a paramount effect in someone's success. In particular, when it comes to relationship and marriage.
All things considered, successful people are not timorous people who afraid of taking risks in their lives, either taking risks involves taking new opportunities, like immigration, or having commitment in a long-life relationship.
your essay is good but I have some notes
Life is full of challenges and offers successful people many new opportunities. While many people are sluggish and indolent, attentive people are waiting for any opportunity to grab it and become successful.
I would like to rephrase the introduction:
Life is full of challenges and opportunities. While many people are sluggish and indolent, successful people wait for any opportunity to grab it.
One definition of success is the state of satisfaction, as satisfaction happens when people achieve their goals in life.
I don't understand what is the relation between satisfaction and success.
in my opinion if you have satisfaction there will not be new dreams or ambitions
third paragraph is excellent
last note is you used" taking risk , succeed" words many times. it is better to diversify and use alternatives words
you can use risk,adventure, run risk,
you can use succeed achieve ,attain, accomplish ,fulfill, triumph