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'selecting a city as my favorite place' - TOEFL:Where to Visit


mamad60 2 / -  
Jun 28, 2012   #1
Every one always prefers to visit a place that has been an ideal place in her/his mind. Some people prefer to visit a place that lays nearby them. Others are more courageous and undertake the risk of traveling to new and unforeseen places and cities. I belong to the second group whom dreams were always travelling to a far beautiful city which is located in another continent. If i have a chance to visit every city in the world, i would like to go to New York. It's based on the reasons explained below.

First factor influencing my decision to choose a city is the beauty of the city. In a beautiful city i can not enjoy the view of streets and buildings ,i also will be able to have a good time and calm my mind. Even in noisy and crowded city ,pretty street and apartments assist mental health of both inhabitants and visitors. Another factor that is important for me to choose a city for visiting is its diversity of cultures. Although visiting a city having different cultures and tradition is very interesting. Visiting the city that embraces many of this newly acquainted cultures will be very appealing. In such city you can learn about diversity of cultures and try many kinds of foods. Fortunately, New York possesses both above mentioned features, beauty and cultural diversity.

Another factor that i would rather consider in the process of selecting a city as my favorite place to visit is how much i can learn from there. I would like to travel to a city where i could learn much from its culture,city management and science. New York is a very big city that includes a variety of ethics due to the large amount of immigrants live there. So it is a very appropriate place to meet person from other cultures and learn about them. It also has gained acclaim to be one of the most significant scientific centers of the world. Consequently,i have more chance to increase my scientific knowledge thorough traveling there.

Were i lucky enough to choose a place to visit, I would rather go to New York. This is because it is a very good place both to enjoy and learn.

niesaysi 16 / 284 83  
Jun 28, 2012   #2
Hi! I just edited some of your errors.

Others are more courageous andtowards undertaking the risk of traveling to new and unforeseen places and cities. I belong to the second group whom dreams were always travelling to a far beautiful city which is located in another continent. If I would have a chance to visit every city in the world, i would like to go to New York. It's based on the reasons explained below.

First factor influencing my decision to choose a city is the beauty of the citythat of its beauty-- you have to eliminate the use of the word 'city' to evade redundancy.You can use pronoun to replace it.

In a beautiful city i can not ( what you might mean is that you "can") enjoy the view of streets and buildings ,i also will be able to have a good time and calm my mind.--This is a sort of faulty sentence 'cause it lacks with certain conjunction to connect the two clauses..You may revise it as this : I can enjoy the view of streets and buildings in a beautiful city and also it will provide me good time to calm my mind/ I can enjoy the view of streets and buildings in a beautiful city because it can provide good time for me to calm my mind. .


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