Hello...I wonder that my supporting ideas are reasonable enough and details are OK. Anyway, thanks for your help in advance. :-)
Topic: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? High school students should allow students to study the course that they want to study.
Use two specific reasons and examples to support your stance.
The issue of allowing students to study the course that they want to study has been hotly debated. Some people believe that students should have a chance to learn a wide range of subjects by providing the basic curriculum. However, this claim overlooks the potential advantages of students' own selected course such as increasing students' motivation and their skill development.
To begin with, students' intrinsic motivation is profoundly boosted. Most students select the course based on their interests and what they consider necessary to learn. During my high school years, I did not participate very enthusiastically especially in the classes which are out of my interests and unwanted while I was motivated to study in the only classes that I think important and find fun.
In addition, students invest their time more on perfecting their talented skill. Those who prepare for entering the art college, for instance, do not necessarily have to spend time struggling with mathematic problems or doing some laboratory research. Rather, their priority should be 'sharpening their artistic skills. If they are given the right to choose the course,
If students are given more control over tailoring their curriculum by their own, so many positive effects will be aroused. Above all, students' motivation is increased since they study only the subjects they are interested in. Also, students spend more time on sharpening their skills by not taking unnecessary courses that do not count. Thus, students should be encouraged to select the courses based on their taste.
Your paragraphs are very short, so that leaves room to cite a good source at the end of each. Find an article about intrinsic motivation as it is enhanced by student choice, and refer to that article at the end of the paragraph about intrinsic motivation. Then, find an article about skill development as it is enhanced by student choice, and refer to that article at the end of the paragraph about skill development.
By citing good research studies and scholarly articles, you make it a strong paper. It is easy to find good articles by using Google Scholar.
Also, add two sentences to the end of the first paragraph to tell something specific about intrinsic motivation and something specific about skill development.
I wish I would find article to support the ideas and strengthen my points, but I am preparing for the time-limit writing test, not writing a research paper. It is NOT allowed to find a source during the test, of course. Rather, I have to rely upon the existing ideas or sources in my brain. haha.. As always, it is really hard to come up with good, reasonable ideas to strengthen my argument within time-limit.
Oh, I see! Well, I bet it will help if you read about constructivist learning theory. Constructivism is all about how knowledge must be built upon pre-existing knowledge, so it supports this argument well. If you learn all about constructivism, you will do well!
Thank you for your tips!! Anyway, would you mind pointing out the sentences that need grammatical/lexical revision? I am sure there are some grammatical errors in my essay. It will be really appreciated if you correct those errors. Thanks again. :)
However, this claim overlooks the potential advantages of students' own selected course, such as increasing students' motivation and their skill development.
In addition, students invest their time more on perfecting their talents and skills .
You didn't finish this sentence: If they are given the right to choose the course,
If students are given more control over tailoring their curriculum according to their own ideas, so many positive effects will be aroused.
NOT TOO MUCH room for improvement!!! :)