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Selection (out of 5) for Summative Essay (1)

Justin13601 1 / 1  
Oct 9, 2016   #1
Hi everyone, I need help on choosing the best essay out of 5, please help as soon as possible, Thanks!

Drunk Drivers Should Lose Their Licenses - Permanently
They say to drive responsibly, but do people ever listen?
Countless incidents occur every year due to drunk driving, claiming a life every 51 minutes. You know what scares people the most? 50 percent to 70 percent convicted drunk drivers continue to drive on a suspended license. These people are not aware of the damage they are causing to families, the grief they give to the people who has lost someone they love in a drunken car accident.

Blaming drunken drivers and putting consequences on them will not help, as people keep repeating the mistakes. There will be no absolute fix to this problem, however, roads will be safer when drunk drivers lose their license to kill permanently.

The punishment does sound harsh and maybe an overkill, and people may even argue that itĄŻs infringing on peopleĄŻs human rights, but killing people because of your inconsiderate actions isnĄŻt? ItĄŻs the final attempt at minimizing the cause of nearly 20,000 deaths annually.

Drunk drivers are not only endangering their own lives while impaired driving, they are threatening the people around them, the people who are unaware of the dangers lurking beside them.

Think about all the innocent pedestrians, the people who are driving normally, the people who get caught in this non-sense against their will. The families who lost their loved ones without so much as a goodbye.

There really is no place for them on the road.
A trial has been attempted in the United States, ordering police to strip drunken drivers of their licenses as soon as they are suspected of drunk driving. Study confirmed that policies mandating immediate license removal reduced the number of drinking-and-driving fatalities by 5%, indicating that these measures do appear to encourage people to hesitate before boozing and driving.

It proves that humanity can be saved, and there is a way to minimize the number of deaths at the hands of drivers under influence.

Currently, every 2 of 3 Canadians have experienced a drunken driver accident in their lives. If this policy passes as a legal rule, wouldnĄŻt you propose that the numbers worldwide would decrease dramatically?

The amount people that wonĄŻt need to be forced to witness or take part in a tragic event like this will finally be the majority of the population. Think of all the injuries and deaths we can prevent if we just let the drunken drivers learn their lessons.

ItĄŻs understandable for people to have the need to drink once in a while, to release, let go and relax, but you canĄŻt be careless and affect the perfect lives of children, mothers, fathers, and friends. The number of people you can hurt just be doing this carelessly can be shocking.

Try putting yourself in the shoes of others, the normal people walking around you. Would you want someone to ruin your life like that?
All this information is here just to prove to you that there is a way we can limit the number of deaths due to drunk driving. It would save numerous amount of lives, prevent plenty of accidents, and hopefully make drivers think twice before driving irresponsibly.

Breaking Bad Habits

Each and everyone one of us have some bad habits that we arenĄŻt really proud of, donĄŻt try to deny it. Nobody is perfect, and we all have the one thing we are just inclined to do. Those are our everyday habits, both and bad. You should keep your good ones, but crush the bad ones.

Bad habits may interrupt your life and prevent you from accomplishing your regular goals. They can jeopardize your personal health ¨C both physically and mentally, and most of all, they waste your time and energy.

Now the question is, why do we all still have them? And more importantly, is there a way we can get rid of it?
Stress and boredom. Those are the 2 most common things that may cause bad habits. Most of the time, bad habits are simply a way of dealing with stress or boredom. From biting your nails and tapping your legs, to drinking every weekend and wasting time on the internet, all of them are basically a simple response to stress and boredom.

But it doesnĄŻt have to be like that. There are ways you can combat and replace these bad habits, and thatĄŻs where I will be lending a hand.

The first and foremost step if you really want to make changes, is to be honest with yourself. Recognizing the causes of your bad habits is crucial to overcome them.

Start with awareness. We all tend to get caught up in how we feel about our bad habits we possess. ItĄŻs easy to make yourself feel guilty, and spend your time dreaming about you wish things wereĄ­ but these thoughts are actually taking you away from whatĄŻs really happening, the reality.

Instead, itĄŻs the awareness portion that will truly show you how to make change. Start off with asking questions like ĄŽwhen does your bad habit happen?ĄŻ, and ĄŽhow many times do you do it per day?ĄŻ. These questions are simply tracking the issue which will make you much more aware of your behavior, thus planning out dozens of ideas for stopping it.

Once you realize the basic trend of your bad habit, you can start to think about the process in a new way. Many people start with choosing a substitute for your habit by having a plan for how you respond when you are faced with boredom or stress that prompts the bad routine.

Knowing what causes the bad habit is extremely beneficial to fighting the bad habit, as you need to cut out as many triggers as possible. If you eat cookies when you see them, throw them all away. If the first thing you do when you sit down on the couch is pick up the TV remote, then find a place in a different room where you could hide it. Make it easier for yourself to break the bad habits by limiting and avoiding things that cause them.

Joining forces with somebody with greatly assist you in your adventures of stopping the bad habit. The 2 of you can pair up and quit together by holding each other accountable, as well as celebrating your victories together. Surround yourself with people who live the way you wish to live. Knowing that other people are expecting better of you is a powerful motivator.

Lastly, visualize yourself succeeding. Whatever the bad habit may be, imagine yourself crushing it, finally winning against it, while smiling and enjoying your triumph.
Breaking bad habits takes time and effort, but most definitely, it takes lots of perseverance. Most people who try to break their habits will quit after failing multiple times. You might not have success right away, but that doesnĄŻt mean you wonĄŻt have any ever.


Having read the different viewpoints on the question that plagued many, Ą°should I live in a city or in the country?Ąą, I decided to go check it out for a few days and flew from Toronto to Plattsburgh, New York. To this date, I still donĄŻt completely understand how those people satisfy their loneliness and fulfill their social needs.

Many people will argue that you just have to get used to it, but then isnĄŻt 3 weeks enough?
I traveled to the tiny town over the summer to experience the peaceful feeling, Ą°sublettingĄą my friendĄŻs house temporarily. Took a cheap flight to Ottawa, then drove to my destination. Unfortunately, I arrived late that night, unloading my rental in eerily quiet night. IĄŻm used to loud street music with lights shining everywhere, rather than the pitch-black darkness of the entire street.

It left me undoubtedly spooked.
Deciding to explore the small place tomorrow so that I wonĄŻt trip over myself, I enter the house, making myself at home.
The plot itself wasnĄŻt small at all, with no houses within 100 meters of the place, but the squeaky floors plus howling wind between the wall cracks, it seemed like some next level haunted-house. Normal old furniture stationed inside the flat, with a bulky-fat TV near the kitchen.

Stifling a yawn, I head upstairs to prepare my wooden bed. This was a bad ideaĄ­
After 2 days of residence, cooped up in the place, I decided to explore a bit since IĄŻm done setting up.
I stepped outside for the first time with a purpose other than getting my bags from the car.
Still the same, quiet as ever.
There are a few others strolling around their gigantic lawn, wandering aimlessly for the duration of the day. The sky is clear-blue, with a relaxing scent of non-polluted air. No ad stickers on the electrical poles, making the region look like itĄŻs been deserted. No longer are garbage scattered all across the grass and road, or the tire tracks from all the emergency brakes, but replaced by a flat, straight road with no signs for some distance.

What I donĄŻt understand is how these people socialize, if they do at all.
I havenĄŻt seen any sort of communication between anyone here since arriving, and barely anyone has left their properties. ItĄŻs like each family is their own community.

It also looks like they donĄŻt have much technology, completely cut from the outside world. At least in the city, we can satisfy our boringness with our phones, but these people apparently have a different view on this.

I wondered around the lot like the others are doing, passing the time quickly, all the while pondering on how these people would do during their days. Where would they buy their groceries? How long does it take for them to drive to a hospital? Schools?

I suppose all these answers will eventually unravel itself over the next 2 ridiculous long weeks.

A Walk to Margaret Falls

With nothing on my mind, I jog through the forest, twigs crunching underneath my feet. Trying not to trip over myself, I take notice of the scenery around me. Trees were the skyscrapers of this forest, surrounding me from all sides. I notice the forest IĄŻm in was nut-brown, filled with deciduous maple trees. ItĄŻs truly a magnificent sight.

As I continue walking on the leaf-carpeted path, squirrels and chipmunks stare at us, hurriedly scampering away even at the slightest sound. The smell of the forest was fresh and organic after some light drizzle last night. Half-eaten nuts are scattered all over the pathway, left-overs from the animalĄŻs morning snack. I look up, immediately mesmerized by the morning stars, shining like silver snowflakes. The peace to everything was soul soothing.

Our family was on a mini-vacation to our cottage near Margaret River as a treat for my sisterĄŻs 9th birthday. The cottage was quite isolated from the main road, leaving lots of room for freedom. Our backyard was the forest, waiting to be explored.

I woke up early in the morning, quickly telling my parents that I will be back by noon, and thatĄŻs how I ended up by the jewel-blue stream in the forest. Apparently, if you follow the river, it will lead you to the majestic Margaret River Falls.

So I continue to follow the roads of the forest.
The river hopped over the rocks happily, curving gently through the forest.
The river drew me to a wild raspberry bush along the sides of the riverbank. I picked some and they tasted orchard sweet, immediately grabbing some more. I kind of regret not packing a snack for the road because I left in such a hurry. I realize I am pretty thirsty too, so I take a sip from the refreshing stream, the water tasting divine down my dry throat.

In the distance, I could see a family of ducks paddling on the water, enjoying their summer. IĄŻm so tempted to spend the day here, but remembering my promise to my parents I continue moving towards the waterfall.

A couple minutes later, I begin to hear the roaring sound of the waterfall. Excited, I step up my pace and walk faster towards my sanctuary. The thunderous clap increasing in volume as I get closer and closer to Margaret Falls. It was growling and rumbling.

A board-walk rises from the dirt path, guiding me to the place IĄŻve been looking forward to the whole morning.
At last, I step into the clearing, right where the waterfall plunges deep into the small lake.
I gasp in astonishment at the clarity of the Caribbean-blue water. It was spurting and drizzling onto the basalt rock. The main, larger waterfall pounded the rocks, which was flanked by 2 smaller ones, equally beautiful. They tumbled down the mountain, ending at the foot of the mountain throwing up bubbles of spray everywhere.

The whole thing looked like a wall of blue satin threaded with silver.
The grass growing on the rocks next to it are nodding gently.
Flowers blossoming near the lake giving of a honey-sweet smell.
The frogs croaking nearby added to the harmonic melody.
I inch closer to the water, the air feeling much cooler. I instantly regret not bring a jacket. In a pair of thin shorts, and t-shirt, I begin to shudder from the cold. I decide to not stay for much longer, and get a cold on my sisterĄŻs birthday.

Not failing to remember to take pictures, I begin taking my last look of the magnificent scenery, memorizing every detail.
I pack everything up, bracing myself for the long journey of heading back to the cottage.

A Miserable Journey

My alarm clock rang in my ear on the morning of July 25th, 2008. I woke up, not realizing that that day was going to contain one of the most horrifying experiences of my lifeĄ­

As a seven-year-old traveling by air with their parents for the first time, itĄŻs definitely an eye-opener. The size of the Shanghai ĆÖśŤ Airport is just amazing. Everywhere you look, there are people hustling around, bumping into each other, trying not to miss their flights. ItĄŻs funny, to say the least.

Currently squeezing my fatherĄŻs hand as tight as I could, I look up at him. Ą°Are we going to miss our flight daddy?Ąą
Ą°No sweetie, hopefully, we wonĄŻtĄą, he says as he speeds up his pace, making me switch to a light jog just to stay beside him.

IĄŻm still feeling drowsy from waking up so early in the morning. My eyelids start to feel heavy as we arrive at our gate, preparing to board the flight to Malaysia. It is my first time flying, and I have absolutely no idea of what to expect. Bored, I take a look out the window, marveling at the number of vehicles and aircraft there are at the airport. I canĄŻt wait to see what it was like inside one of those humongous vehicles, but then I spotted our plane. To say itĄŻs small is an understatement. From where I am, it doesnĄŻt even look that much bigger than our car. A mini-aircraft with 2 engines nears its tail. The jet looks older in comparison to the other jets neatly lined up near the maintenance hangar.

My parents swiftly finish the boarding procedures, so now my sister and I are sprinting down the long hallway that connects our transport with the main building. As soon I step into the jet, I was instantly blown away by how hot and humid the plane is. The smell of sweat and cleaning liquid filled my nose, making me flinch. My parents securely place our luggage and sit down, all the while laughing at me pinching my nose.

The airplane interior doesnĄŻt look as bad as the outside, with 2 seats on each side. My parents shift glances between our boarding passes and the seat numbers on the aisle ground. After a while of searching and holding up the line, we manage to spot our row on the left side. As soon as my bottom found my seat, I am immediately mesmerized by the little screen in front of me. I stare at it with curiosity, wondering what itĄŻs for.

Ą°Daddy, whatĄŻs the mini-TV for?Ąą
Ą°You should be able to watch cartoons and movies while we are in the air.Ąą
Ą°Oh, fancy, does that mean I can continue watching Pok¨Śmon?Ąą
Ą°Maybe,Ąą he chuckles, Ą°if they have it.Ąą
By now, an announcement from the pilot came on explaining some of the safety rules, which IĄŻve all heard from my parents about a million times. A flight attendant up front is doing some weird hand motion while mouthing the lines of the announcement, but I couldnĄŻt pay attention for much longer, because exhaustion took the better of me, and I fall into sweet peaceful sleep.

I am jerked awake by a heavy shake with a force that almost made me bang my head against the window. Frightened, I turn to my mom for an explanation.

Ą°What was that mama?Ąą
Ą°The shaking? That was a ¨C uh ¨C turbulence wave.Ąą Said my mom with a hint of nervousness to her voice. Ą°A strong one too.Ąą

Now I didnĄŻt understand a word she just said, or what Ą°turbulenceĄą meant, but with her worried glances at my father every-so-often, I know itĄŻs not pleasant. Just then, another wave hit us, nearly knocking a few standing passengers off their feet, and causing what looked like a boy my age to yelp for his parents. A light near the air vents suddenly flashed on, signaling what must mean to get in your seat and buckle your seat belts.

Next thing I know, people are trampling over each other, trying to get back to their seats. Flight attendants are trying their best to calm people down, and to make sure nobody gets hurt. My parents are almost crushing my hands, and holding my sister tight, muttering to themselves, hoping that was the last turbulence attack.

They are praying, I realize.
Unexpectedly, another wave hit us, this time even worse, causing an overhead luggage compartment to flip open, spewing out bags onto the floor. I would almost laugh if the thought of death isnĄŻt still on my mind.

Then it happened.
The turbulence wave turned into what feels like a 5-second nose-dive.
My stomach lurches forward and drops, my organs pushing each other within my body. It strangely sounds close to how people described roller-coaster experiences.
I think I scream.
Babies are now weeping and sobbing, as they desperately cling on to their mothers.
A nearby girl starts yelling.
My parents hug me tight, and my sister bursts out crying. It is definitely a scary sight, the whole aircraft completely out of control.
A thousand things go through my head.
What happens when I die?
Will I see my family again?
However, it was over almost as quick as it happened. People around me looking traumatized by the events of the past few minutes. EveryoneĄŻs hair is all rustled messily, their clothes wrinkled, face wet with tears. The passengers diagonally across from us had their eyes closed, head bowed, praying to themselves. A couple ahead of us is currently shaking with fear, writing what must be their life wills on a piece of paper.

Some of the flight attendants are now rushing around, trying to assist other passengers as much as possible.
My father turns to us with a shaky voice. Ą°Are you guys alright?Ąą
Ą°Yeah, I think weĄŻll be fine,Ąą answered mother, who is still tense.
Ą°ItĄŻs all going to be okay, I promiseĄą, my dad says with a soothing voice.
I turn away, facing the plane aisle. Everyone sits still, waiting and mentally preparing for the chance of another hit from the vicious turbulenceĄ­
elonbrahm - / 2 1  
Oct 10, 2016   #2
Hi Justin,

In picking the best essay, I think it would be better if you first state the purpose of the essay selection. So we can adjust our judgement to the purpose.

However, here are some of my thoughts on the essays:
1. I think it misses important data to support the main premise. How many drunk drivers are actually causing incidents? And what is the rate of drunk drivers that causing incident in the past get behind the wheel again?

2. It's a good essay. It'd be better if the essay could provide reference to a study that will support tips suggested in the essay.

3. It sound like a complaining teenager
4. It's a safe and quite beautiful essay
5. It gives the impression that the story is not finished yet.

So, I pick the essay #4

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