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sense of humor, honesty, willingness - QUALITIES OF A GOOD NEIGHBOR - TOEFL


Aug 29, 2010   #1
I'm a new comer here. I hope you guys will check my essay. I'm very grateful about that.
My essay is more likely simple, unspecific, and something like that. But this is reason why I need all you to help to increasing my writing skill. ^^

Topic: What are qualities of a good neighbor? (250 words)

Depending on personal experience, personality type and emotional concern, some people consider that wealth and intelligence are qualities a good neighbor should have. In my point of view, a sense of humor, honesty and willingness are more important than other characteristics. These I support with the following reasons.

Firstly, a sense of humor helps me feel comfortable and relax. Live is not simple, difficult and full of stress. Everyday I have to solve many troublesome things such as doing homework, keeping relationships, managing time and so forth. Therefore, it is essential to have someone who I can talk, feel pleasure and, especially, lives very close to me.

I like a person who is not sharp but honest more than smart but crafty. I will feel safe to have such a person to look after my house while I am on vacation. I will send to him some small gift as a reply or invite him dinner when he is too busy to prepare. However, it is very natural that I will not want to have a close relationship with a wily neighbor.

Finally, I appreciate a person who is not wealthy but willingness more than rich but selfish. When I need repairing my car, rebuild the fence; for example, a good neighbor will be willing to give a hand. I can help him with different works such as helping to buy food, take care of his baby. To a selfish person I do not think I can live in harmony with/ get a long with/ harmoniously.

To sum up, Live becomes easier when there is someone to share notably a neighbor. A near neighbor who is as a friend is better a far relative. And it is more wonderful to have a good neighbor who is humor - to make you smile, honest - to make you safe and willing to help you.

EF_KevinThreads: 8
Posts: 13,840
[Contributor] 129  
Aug 31, 2010   #2
Cool, thanks Maria! I hope you know how cool it is that you contribute so seriously. We are lucky.

Luu, it will be nice if you have time to type the essay again, using Maria's corrections. That way, we can look to see if you still have any mistakes. Do you have questions about any of the corrections?
Sep 8, 2010   #3
To EF kevin, I don't have any question about any Maria's corrections. I completely understand why I had these mistakes. I think I should write another essay for the same kind of topic instead. So that you can look to see how I improve in my writing skill and the way I use her corrections for my next essays.

Anyways, thanks for your suggestion.
EF_KevinThreads: 8
Posts: 13,840
[Contributor] 129  
Sep 10, 2010   #4
Hi Luu,

Yes, I look forward to the next essay. If you want to practice typing the correct way, post a new draft of this essay here. You can only correct errors by practicing typing the correct way. It is not enough just to notice the errors. So, I hope you retype this essay and fix the errors!

You already are very skillful. I do not see many errors, and a lot of What Maria said was just ideas, not necessary corrections.

When you are trying to change your writing from good to perfect, you need to reprogram your brain. Like with this sentence:
Therefore, it is essential to have someone who I can talk, feel pleasure and, especially, lives very close to me.
Reprogram your brain by practicing this:
Therefore, it is essential to have someone with whom I can talk, share pleasure, and (especially) live close to. ---- This is another correct way. Practice, practice! :-)
Sep 10, 2010   #5
Depending on personal experience, personality type and emotional concern, some people consider that wealth and intelligence are qualities a good neighbor should have. In my point of view, a sense of humor, honesty and willingness are more important than other characteristics. These I support with the following reasons.

______________________________________________________________________ ____________

Some people consider wealth and intelligence as qualities a good neighbor should have. From my own perspective, honesty and willingness are more important than some of the other characteristics.

==> Leave out the first part of the first sentence. And leave out the last sentence. It is already understood that you will present your argument.

Mark
Sep 13, 2010   #6
Thanks Mark, I really didn't realize about that just after you have come up with.

@Kevin, I like the way you explained and made examples. I have learned that the impotant thing is how I think about situation more than what words I use. Thanks a lot, kevin.
Sep 13, 2010   #7
Luu Dang,

Now, after you have read what we have told you, why don't you re-work the essay and then re-present it to the forum? This will give you the chance to see how much better it can be expressed and it will give us the chance to see if you have understood what we have been telling you. It's not a long essay, so it should not take that long to re-work. Spend some time with it, and while you are doing it -- if you have any questions, please shout.

Mark


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