Several changes in an industrial complex, an artificial lake, and public places in Lakeside

The changes in Lakeside in 2000 and 2009.

A comparison of the changes in Lakeside between 2000 and 2009 is depicted in the two maps. Overall, there are several changes in an industrial complex, an artificial lake, and public places.

First of all, there was a significant alter in the south east of Lakeside where the industrial complex had been expanded in 2009, and replacing an residential area that existed in 2000. This industrial complex was located alongside the river that flow into the lake before it already swifted into a pond that based in the north east of Lakeside.

The other change was a derelic warehouse which was right to a residential area had altered into a parking area for cars. Across the car park, there were an office buliding and a university that replaced an old town. Then, move to the eat, where an art centre was built next to school had swifted into a movie theatre. Meanwhile, a residential area in the south west of Lakeside was also changed into a shopping centre. (168)

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Hi,

I read your writing, here is some correction to improve your writing.

~~~~ you have to write at least three sentence because it effect your score.

~~~~First of all , there was a significant ...
First of all, is not appropriate in this case, you can use " initially"

keep writing :)

Hi Septia, here's another one from my end.

- A comparison of the changes in the Lakeside
- in anthe industrial complex, an artificial lake,

- and replacing ana residential area
- wasis located alongside the river
- that flows into the lake before
- it already swifted into ashifts to the pond that based

- a residential area and had altered into a parking
- there werewas an office buliding and
- Then, move to the eat, where anMoving forward to the art centre which was built next to school
- had swiftedbeen shifted into a movie theatre.
- was also changedconverted into a shopping centre.

There you have it Septia, I hope the above remarks are helpful to your revision and I left the last paragraph for you to practice your editing skills, I hope you follow though.