Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 4


Several companies make their business just for source of money.


nida26 30 / 19 5  
Mar 28, 2016   #1
The purpose of business is to make money and they should concentrate only on this. Do you agree or disagree?

These days, most people build a creative business with some innovative ideas to encourage the quality of people's life. Several companies make their business just for source of money. However, I strongly disagree that if they just concentrate about how can they are able to earn much more money with their business.

The goal of every business which has built is to make money and to achieve maximum profit. Every businessman hope that their business will be successful and earn a lot of revenues every year which can provide the needs of their life. They believe that if the people can earn more money, their quality of life will increase too. This is because they can fulfil their basic needs until secondary or tertiary needs, so they will feel happier. For instance, if they feel stress, they can go to wherever place which they want to go without thinking about money. Yet, I firmly believe that the businessman also have to think about their employees and environment.

People who have their own business should think about their workers. They also should concentrate to improve their employees' skills, because it will help the development of the company in the next level. In addition, the businessman should consider regarding to their environment. They have to make business which does not destroy the local environment, like not produce greenhouse gases which can increase the air pollution in this world.

To sum up, a lot of industries argue that the function of their business is to earn much money. Nevertheless, I really disagree that they just focus to make a great deal of money.
nurannisaputry92 36 / 27 2  
Mar 28, 2016   #2
... concentrate about how can they are able to earn much more money with their business. (just focus on disagree argument and look for some reasons why the purposes of business is not only to earn an income, but also to develop public service for instance)

let me modify your introduction:

These days, most people build a creative business with some innovative idea to encourage the quality of people's life. However, several companies make their business just for source of money. I personally disagree with statement above because there are some functions of business not only for gaining money, but also as community service and sustainable of their commerce
angga93 42 / 74 20  
Mar 28, 2016   #3
if they just concentrate about how can they are able to earn much more money | can = be able to

my suggestion: if they just focus on the way making bigger income

because they can fulfill their basic needs

they can go to whereverany placeswhichwhere they want to go without thinking about money.

the businessmanbusinessmen also have to think about ...
yonathan66 30 / 27 5  
Mar 29, 2016   #4
Hello Miss Nida. I have some suggestion for you. I hope it can help you. Thank you

1st Paragraph
how they are able to earn ... . => how they earn much money from their own business.

2nd Paragraph
earn a lot of revenues every ... => earn a lot of revenues every year so then they can complete the needs of their life.


Home / Writing Feedback / Several companies make their business just for source of money.
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳