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Several Introductions of Writing Task 2


saskia98 1 / 4  
Aug 25, 2016   #1
"As global trade increases, many goods including those we use on a daily basis, are produced in other countries and have to be transported long distances.

Do the benefits of this trend outweigh the drawbacks?"


Nowadays, global trade is a common thing for countries to do in order to exchange goods from one to another. However, this trend may give many disadvantages especially for the developing countries.

"In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong while others consider it as valuable work experience.

Discuss both opinions and give your opinion."


It's a common thing for children these days to go working to get paid. There are many different reasons why they decided to go to work. But no matter what the reason is, children are not supposed to work under a certain age.

"Unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example, working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood, or teaching sports to younger children).

To what extent do you agree or disagree?"


Unpaid community service is commonly provided by students at the university as a program of their organizations. This kind of service has been giving great impacts to our society and teaching young generations to take care of their surroundings. There are therefore several reasons why high schools should adopt this service as their school programs.

bung ilham 14 / 30  
Aug 25, 2016   #2
aloha Saskia, below are my suggestions for you:

1st answer
... to do in order to exchange goods(products) from one to another. However, this trend may(avoid word "may") give many disadvantages ...

2nd answer
It'sIt is(avoid the contraction) a common thing for...

3rd answer
(give the article)Unpaid communityvoluntary service is commonly provided ...
... giving great impacts to ourenvironmental society and teaching ...
There are therefore several reasons why ... (make your thesis statement and decide your extent)
TJLuschen - / 241 203  
Aug 25, 2016   #3
Hi Saskia, there are many ways to write a good introduction, but a nice method for new learners is to follow this format. First, state that the topic is important, then explain why it is important. Then restate the prompt's question in your own words, and end the intro with a thesis statement that clearly gives your opinion and answers the prompt's question.

So let me see if I can adapt your introductions to this format.

Nowadays, global trade is a common thing for countries to do in order to exchange goods from one to another. {this is good, but now add why global trade is important - maybe say a lot of jobs depend on it, or that often our whole economy is focused upon it.} However, this trend may give many disadvantages especially for the developing countries. {this is ok, but now add your thesis statement which gives your specific opinion on whether the benefits outweigh the drawbacks or not}

... children these days to go [to work] to get paid
... reasons why they decid[e ] to go to work. But no matter what the reason is, children are not supposed to work under a certain age.

{this is a bit different from my format, but I think it is fine. You have to continue it though, by stating what the prompt's question is and then giving your opinion. For this type of prompt, you have to discuss both the drawbacks and the benefits. It is usually best to discuss the drawbacks in one body paragraph, the benefits in a second, and your opinion in the third. Or you can combine that third body paragraph with the conclusion for a total of 4 paragraphs}

Unpaid community service is commonly provided [...] adopt this service as their school programs.
{this one is really good - you stated that it is important, then why it is important, and gave your opinion}
OP saskia98 1 / 4  
Aug 25, 2016   #4
Thank you so much for your feedback:) I highly appreciate it :)


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