Unanswered [14] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 6

Several languages are in danger - should governments spend public money on saving these languages?


aini1103 1 / 2  
Apr 26, 2020   #1

Many languages are endangered by extinction



Several languages are in danger of extinction because they are spoken by very small numbers of people. Some people say that governments should spend public money on saving these languages, while others believe that would be a waste of money.

Discuss both these views and give your opinion.


Numbers of languages are endangered by extinction, due to lacking the speakers. Although some people believe that the authority should allocate money for preservation, others think this act merely as a waste of money. This essay will discuss both sides of opinion and the reason I support to preserve languages.

Some people think saving these languages is a wasteful action because these languages are spoken by a small group of people. If governments want to maintain these languages, they need to educate more people to learn these. However, people nowadays tend to learn the language which can interact more people, such as English. Tn fact, they think governments should pay attention to other important aspects instead of the minority group, for instance, education or health care.

Despite the above arguments, I believe that it is necessary to preserve these threatened languages spoken by minority people. One of the primary factors is that language contributed to the heritage of cultures, passing the ancestors' wisdom and ethnic uniqueness down generation after generation. If these languages are extinct, every individual becomes to speak a single language and share the same culture, and there will be no difference among countries. As a result, governments should allocate money for preserving and maintaining cultural diversity that is the nation's characteristics.

In conclusion, it might cost a large expense on protection and preservation, but it still is necessary to protect every cultural heritage and identity. Therefore, governments should take some efforts in maintaining these endangered languages and prevent them from extinction.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,540 3448  
Apr 26, 2020   #3
This is a 5 paragraph essay that should represent the following:

- Paraphrase
- Government should spend to save the language
- Government should not spend
- Personal opinion
- Reverse paraphrase

Since the original prompt uses the word "extinction", you should avoid using it in your restatement. Try to use a synonym for the word such as destruction, annihilation, elimination, or obsolescence / obsolete. Try to avoid using the exact words as the original because that shows a limited English vocabulary which will affect your LR score.

Your essay discusses only 2 out of 3 points of view required by the discussion instruction which is:
-Discuss both points of view and give your opinion

You selectively discussed the prompt requirements, for which there will be appropriate scoring deductions for under developed and/or selective discussion presentations in your essay. This will prevent you from achieving a passing score in the overall scoring consideration phase.
OP aini1103 1 / 2  
Apr 27, 2020   #4
@Holt
Thank you ! it is really helpful.
Could you possibly correct my inappropriate words or sentences?
emillia2003 5 / 11 3  
Apr 29, 2020   #5
I am not sure the phrase "Numbers of + plural nouns" is correct, I think you should say: many languages are endangered because of ....
Tn fact-> in fact
Second sentence, paragraph 2: They need to educate people to learn those
Interact with more people
I hope this small changes could make your essay sounds better.


Home / Writing Feedback / Several languages are in danger - should governments spend public money on saving these languages?