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Essay about "several languages die out and many people think this is a good thing, do you agree?"


khaledQasem25 1 / 1  
Dec 3, 2017   #1

World's Languages Dying Off Rapidly



Life is going faster and faster, so year by year we see that a lot of languages die out . Although a lot of that this is a bad thing, but I strongly believe that this is a very good thing to our civilization for main two reasons. firstly, this thing makes our communications more easier . secondly , this will make the process of learning be more simple .

As we said that the communications will be much easier, suppose that ypu are going to travel to a country which speak a in language that you don't learn it , how do you can communicate efficiently? So if there lower number of languguages in the world , we will get rid of this problem .

Secondly , all aspects of science and knowledge have been changed and get evolved , and sometimes the main barrier for us to have a knowledge is the language . for example , imagine that there is interesting article wase wriiten in French and you don't have a background in frensh , so you will find a difficulty in capturing the benefit from it . in addition many people a money for a specialized translation website to translate some scientific paper , so if the number of llanguages going lower , so we will don't need to spend our money on this websites .

So as a conclusion , benefits will be gained if the number of languages decreased is much larger than the negative things . and we agreed with that opinion as we clarifying this in article
Tanveer775 2 / 9 2  
Dec 3, 2017   #2
You: Although a lot of that this is a bad thing,...

Correction as per my knowledge: The first line in Italic format is not clear. Not sure what are you trying to say. If you think it is good to have less number of languages, you can it like this:

As per my opinion, it is good to have less number of languages or it is good that many languages have been forgotten by people and it is good to make communication easier. In addition to that, it will simplify the process of learning.
OP khaledQasem25 1 / 1  
Dec 3, 2017   #3
@tanveer775 sorry i was mean Although a lot of people think that this is a bad thing, but I strongly believe
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,797 4780  
Dec 3, 2017   #4
khaled, please remember to always provide the complete original prompt with your essay. It is not to be used as a topic title but rather, it is to be presented as a part of your essay discussion. That is the basis of the review that I create for your essay and the suggestions for your improvement. Without it, I am not able to review your essay as completely as required.

Your opening paraphrase is not accurate as it does not completely inform the reader about the topic for discussion. This line in particular, is nonsensical in presentation:

Although a lot of that this is ...

What made this sentence confusing is the use of the connecting word "but" when the word was not required in the presentation. Without the word "but" the sentence makes more sense:

Although a lot of that this is a bad thing, I strongly believe that this is a very good thing to our civilization for main two reasons.

Do you see the difference? You have to learn how to decide when to use and when not to use the connecting words in a sentence. Focus on simple sentence development for now. You need to make sure you know the rudiments of proper English sentence development before you can progress from the beginner level.

It is also important that you understand what each paragraph function is in the essay. The functions are as follows:

Par. 1 - Opening paraphrase. Your restatement of the original prompt and its discussion instructions without an actual discussion.
Par. 2-4 Reasoning, discussion, and examples. Each paragraph transitioning into an increasingly convincing explanation for the next paragraph.The 4th paragraph is usually a personal opinion

Par. 5. Summary of the discussion and prompt restatement.

Based on this mandated format for the discussion, you can see that you work did not accurately represent any section of the discussion as required. Therefore, your essay will receive a failing score.


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