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Several leisure activities among children - IELTS Task 1


wahyu 16 / 28 1  
Sep 6, 2016   #1
The bar chart depicts a breakdown of percentage of boys and girls who have age between 5 and 14 in several leisure activities. Overall, it can be seen that boys dominate in some hobbies and both of them have the same interesting in watching TV and Video.

According to the bar chart, there are three activities where the percentage of boys out number that of girls while the former in the electronic or computer games is higher than the latter. The pattern also happens in the skateboarding or rollerblading and bike riding. The watching TV or video accounted for the majority at 100 for both of girls and boys.

On the other hand, the participation of girls is much more than that of boys in the art and craft. That gap is the same as the gap in electronic or computer games at 20. In short, sedentary activities are more favorite than other activities which have to use much more energy when they play its.




akbarmappiare 31 / 469 275  
Sep 6, 2016   #2
Hi Wahyu.
I have read your writing closely. Let me help you to finalize this.


The bar chart depicts a breakdown of percentage of boys ...
THE BAR CHART DISPLAYS THE PERCENTAGE OF SEVERAL ACTIVITIES FULFILLED BY THE CHILDREN AGED BETWEEN 5 AND 14 YEARS WHEN THEY HAVE FREE TIME. OVERALL, IT IS IMPORTANT TO NOTE THAT ALL OF PARTICIPANTS CHOOSE WATCHING TV OR VIDEOS TO SPEND THEIR LEISURE TIME. FURTHERMORE, WHILE THE MALE PARTICIPANTS COMMAND ALMOST ALL CLUSTERS IN THIS CIRCUMSTANCE, THE PERCENTAGE OF FEMALE SUCCESSFULLY TOOKS OVER THE POSITION OF THE BOYS IN THE ACTIVITIES OF ART AND CRAFT

You are supposed to compare the figures directly in the overview so that it highly attract readers to review the whole writing. One of essential factor in the writing task 1 is comparing the figures.

Keep Spirit..
GOOD LUCK
Faridadwi18 67 / 104 13  
Sep 6, 2016   #3
Hi wahyu,

- ... percentage of boys and girls who have ageaged between 5 and 14 ...
... in some hobbies and both of themgenders have the same ...
- The same pattern also happens in ...

Ii is better if you check the attach before you upload it,because i can't find the chart.
hopefully it helps
.


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