Unanswered [29] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2


IELTS WRITING TASK 2 SEVERAL POINTS OF INTRODUCTION


Fazlur27 3 / -  
Aug 25, 2016   #1
1. As global trade increases, many goods, including those we use on a daily basis, are produced in other countries and have to be transported long distances.

Do the benefits of this trend outweigh the drawbacks?


Increasing world trade leads to several items such as daily necessity should be manufactured in other countries as well as distributed long ranges. To address this issue, in this essay I shall elaborate the potential upsides.

2. In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. some people regard this as completely wrong while others consider it as valuable work experience?

Discuss both opinions and give your opinion?


These days, youngsters devoted to the paid work in any regions. However, some individuals argue that it is firmly improper whilst others believe it as worth employment experience. Therefore, I strongly consider that children engaging in paid job will lead to beneficial skill.

3. Unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example, working for charity, improving the neighborhood, or teaching sports to younger children).

To what extent do you agree or disagree?


Unpaid society attendance must be obligatory section of high school courses. To cite, a charity work, neighborhood improvement, and educating exercises to younger children. I totally agree in terms of issue due to the pivotal interaction early as dedication.
Wolf Larsen - / 127 47  
Aug 25, 2016   #2
Hello Fazlur27

I rewrote some sentences for you so that they sound better (stylistically):

1.
Increasing world [...] The process of Globalization results in increasing the number of products made abroad, and establishing new transportation routes.
To address [...] While addressing the issue, I will elaborate on...
2.
These days [...] Nowadays, it became a commonplace practice in many countries to have children working for money.
However [...], there is a certain controversy to the issue - while some individuals argue that the concerned practice is thoroughly appropriate, others do not quite agree.

Therefore [...] I personally believe that being engaged in a paid job will prove utterly beneficial for children.
3.
Unpaid society attendance [...] Unpaid community service should indeed be mandatory in high schools.
To cite [...] Such service may include doing some charity work, teaching young children, and helping to improve the neighborhood.
I totally agree [...] You should consider removing this sentence - it's barely intelligible and it doesn't make any contextual sense either.

I hope this helped. Regards.


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 2 SEVERAL POINTS OF INTRODUCTION
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳