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Share the Dorm or Choose my own Roommate


Habib Rastegar 8 / 18 1  
May 22, 2013   #1
Topic: You have been told that dormitory rooms at your university must be shared by two students. Would you rather have the university assign a student to share a room with you, or would you rather choose your own roommate? Use specific reasons and details to explain your answer.

Please rate my essay.
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There are different students with different cultures and tradition backgrounds in the international universities all over the world. They are forced to divide their room dormitories with other student(s). Some students allow the university to choose their roommates. Others, however, like to assign their friends by themselves. If I were forced to agree with one of these two conditions, I would rather to strand behind the latter. As far as I am concerned there are three conspicuous aspects that I want to explain as follows.

To begin with, students who are volunteers to select their roommates, they definitely have this chance to choose people who are similar to themselves. I think it is easy and conveniently to make relationship with similar students, because you and your partner have a lot of things in common. Common features are the most important factor which permits you to strengthen you relationship with your new guest. It is not essential to spend too much time to get knowing him or her characteristics and personalities. It is also a great opportunity to make friends swiftly with students who are from other cities or even foreign countries and you are able to learn new things from them such as their language and customs.

Furthermore, you are allowed to choose students who are in your field in university. If you could select some people who are in your department or even in your field, you would take account on his or her help at the difficult situations during the semester. Imagine you want to prepare yourselves for the midterm or final exam and you may be have several problems in that course, what would you prefer to do? The person, whom is able to assist you, is your classmate who is located in your room. Thus, your friend and you are able to read, to perform their own assignments, to answer the teacher's questions with each other simultaneously. In other words, you can help each other at the times of need. Your roommate will extend his hands when you are fallen in a bad situation or a problem.

Last but not least, if you allow the university to choose your partner randomly, you might confront with many hardships in the close future, suppose you have a difficult exam tomorrow and need complete quiet. But your roommate cannot understand your condition and he or she invites their friends to his or her room to play card all together, what would you do? Another instance is that you are sick and have a harmful disease and your doctor prescribes you to rest and eat nutrient foods. But your friend is a crowded person and makes too much noise and harsh voice, what would you want to do? Absolutely nothing. You must tolerate these problems to reach the end of semester.

To sum up from what I have discussed, we can draw a safely conclusion that it is beneficial not only for students, but also for university to allow students to choose their roommates according their interests. Because, both pupils and university managers face with few problems in the period of the educational years.
Pahan 1 / 1,906 553  
May 22, 2013   #2
There are different students with different cultures and traditional backgrounds in the international universities all over the world .

Generally, the student bodies of many universities consist of students with diverse cultural and social backgrounds.

They are forced to divideshare their room dormitories with other student(s). Some students allow the university to choose their roommates. Others, however, like to assign their friends by themselves.

.... this is sharing and not dividing.
In many instances, the students are required to share their dormitories with other students. ... I think this is enough and now you can straight away tell them what option you would like to take out of the given two options.
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
May 22, 2013   #3
I guess you are preparing for IELTS or TOEFL. If so, you need to pay lots of attention to clarity and presentation of your essay.

Others, however, like to assign their friends by themselves

Others, however, wish to choose their room mate.

To begin with, students who are volunteers to select their roommates, they definitely have this chance to choose people who are similar to themselves.

.... here are trying to go a little out of topic. Keep a good alignment with your topic throughout your essay.
Also, leave a blank line between your paragraphs. That gives a neat and tidy look for your essay.
OP Habib Rastegar 8 / 18 1  
May 22, 2013   #4
Dear dumi how would you evaluate my essay? is it intermediate or advanced?
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Jun 12, 2013   #5
You seem to have a fair understanding about the essay structure. However, you need to include specific examples in the body paras for your reasoning. Also, work on your vocabulary a little bit. This is good writing :)

There are different students with different cultures and traditional backgrounds in the international universities all over the world.

To begin with, students who are volunteers to select their roommates, they definitely have this chance to choose people who are similar to themselves.

"volunteer" means free offer to do something or help somebody. So it is not the appropriate key word here. This is what I suggest;

To begin with, students who are given the opportunity to choose their roommates would definitely have a better chance to be with others who have similar backgrounds and better compatibility.

Common features are the most important factor which permits you to strengthen you relationship with your new guest.

When students share similar interests, ideas, attitudes etc., it helps them build a stronger relationship between each other.


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