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TASK 2 | Whether or not to share information about scientific research, business and the academic


V_Nhi0802 1 / -  
Jul 15, 2022   #1
Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to share freely.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.



Information is one of the most valuable things in human life from past to present. From this perspective arise debatable topic about whether knowledge in scientific research, business or academic world should be spread as widely as possible, or should these information being kept secretly because some of them are crucial and treasurable. Bases on these two views, I will illustrate my opinion in the essay below.

Putting the first view onto account, there are some pros and cons about it. The first thing that this action brings to is more value knowledge being approached by in-need people. Though not everyone keen on academic information, once it is brought widely it will benefit many students or researchers major in that aspect. Then from those leads to another pro is that there will be more and more excellent people to dedicate for the major in the future. However, sharing those valuable information can be useless, as being said before, not everyone have an interest in academic knowledge.

Coming to the opposite side, people say that information should not be spread widely may be true. Some knowledge about scientific research or business can be a cause to some damage. For example, if a report about living things outer space is confirmed to be exist, people will afraid and unconscious about it, leading to some chaos around the world. Next, if being spread they must charge fee for the information because it valuable and maybe it is a hard work of someone, and they deserve to receive an equal remunerate.

Personally, there is no need to share information about science, business, or education worldwide. One reason is that it meets very interest of very few people. The other is that valuable things are only value when being a secret and hard to approach things.

In conclusion, though many people prefer to share science, business, and academic information worldwide, in my point of view, I rather keeping them privately or charge fee for anyone who wants to access them.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,767 4773  
Jul 16, 2022   #2
There is no need to over write this essay response. Bear in mind that it is the clarity of the discussion presented that is scored and not the length or word count of the essay. While the essay would automatically pass if only the word count is considered, the clarity of the thought presentation is actually the major consideration when scoring the essay. That means, the sentences need to be in near perfect English form as much as possible. Coherent presentations through proper sentence structuring and word usage are major considerations when the examiner reads the work. That coherence can be accomplished only if the paragraphs have correct references in terms of pronoun usage and word usage.

Since this is a "discuss both views and provide a personal opinion" essay, the presentation should have accomplished the following in the discussion:

1. Present the public opinion individually
2. Explain the basis for each public opinion in individual paragraphs
3. Offer his personal insight for each POV based on his understanding of the public stance.

Pronoun usage should be more pronounced in the presentation since there is a requirement to differentiate between POV presentations. The more group pronouns used in the public consideration, the clearer the opinion separation and idea discussion will be. All points must be equally developed. The personal presentation in this response is not as well developed as the first 2 paragraphs, that shows a lack of analysis on the part of the writer. He should have elaborated on his personal reasons a bit more.

The summary conclusion is insufficient. It only presents one of the two public opinions. The writer's opinion should have come after the restatement of the 2 POV's and its supporting reasons.

These are the reasons why I must repeat that the emphasis of the writer should be on the quality of the work rather than the quantity of the words in the essay.


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