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IELTS-Task 1- The Share of International Student in Canada


replikatika 4 / 5 1  
Feb 7, 2015   #1
The chart below shows the percentage change in the share of international students among university graduates in different Canadian provinces between 2001 and 2006.

This bar chart shows the figure for share of global students among various universities in some provinces in Canada recorded in 2001 and 2006 and measured in percentage. Overall, all provinces witnessed a significant increase in the number of international university graduates, while New Brunswick experienced the highest percentage of that in each year.

According to the data, there were three provinces which had more than 5% international university graduates in 2001; New Brunswick (7%), Nova Scotia (6.5%) and Quebec (6%). Those percentage then increase to above 8% in 2006, at slightly over 8% in Quebec, 11% in Nova Scofia, and the highest percentage of 13% was New Brunswick.

Other four provinces which initially had just under 5% of international university students, experienced the fairly similar increase, up to 7% in 2006. Surprisingly, in the same year, British Columbia reached the percentage of over 11%. It overtook Nova Scotia's (10.5%) which had almost twofold portion of international graduates more than British Columbia's in 2001.

Vns9x 102 / 236 16  
Feb 7, 2015   #2
The picture is missing! It would be better if you could conflate the last two paragraphs!
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,195 459  
Feb 7, 2015   #3
According to the data, there were three provinces which had more than 5% international university graduates in 2001;

Try not to include figures in a topic sentence. Let's give a try; If analyzed, the data shows that there was a significant rise in number of international students in three provinces in Canada.

New Brunswick (7%), Nova Scotia (6.5%) and Quebec (6%) . Those percentage then increase to above 8% in 2006, at slightly over 8% in Quebec, 11% in Nova Scofia, and the highest percentage of 13% was New Brunswick.(Putting all the figures , so called shopping lists, is too simple and easily skipped

Initially, the number of International graduates in New Brunswick stood at 7% in 2001. By 2006, this figure had increased to 13% of total international students. Also, the figure for Nova Scotia showed a dramatic rise in number of International university students, from 6.5% to over 11% during the year under review. 2001 to 2006 witnessed a slight rise in Quebec, an increase of 2% in 5 years.

Always remember to include the picture of the graph, in order to help find the relevant data.
SHanafi 120 / 415 93  
Feb 8, 2015   #4
Always remember to include the picture of the graph, in order to help find the relevant data.

Aligned what eddies suggest in your further post.

This The bar chart shows the figure for share of global students among various universities in some provinces inaround Canada recorded in 2001 and 2006, and it is measured in percentage. Overall, all provinces witnessed a significant increase in the number of international university graduates (This is not fair while Alberta shows a decrease) , while New Brunswick experienced the highest percentage of that in each year.

Overall, the percentage of international graduates among universities all around Canada was higher considerably in 2006. Whereas, Alberta outperformed the 7 remaining provinces in 2001.

According to the data, there were three provinces which had more than 5% international university graduates in 2001; New Brunswick (7%), Nova Scotia (6.5%) and Quebec (6%). Those percentage then increase to above 8% in 2006, at slightly over 8% in Quebec, 11% in Nova Scofia, and the highest percentage of 13% was New Brunswick.

As per the bar chart, New Brunswick broke a record as a province in Canada with the highest overseas graduate student with nearly 7-to-13 percent in 2001 and 2006. It followed by Nova Scotia and Quebec as the second and the third highest of the overall province. By comparison with Ontario being accounted 6 % officially allowed international student graduated, the trend of British Columbia nearly doubled in number of graduate in 2006.

Other four provinces which initially had just under 5% of international university students(this is not clear what provinces that you want to mention?, please re-write it) , experienced the fairly similar increase, up to 7% in 2006. Surprisingly, in the same year, British Columbia reached the percentage of over 11%. It overtook Nova Scotia's figure (10.5%) which had almost twofold portion of international graduates more than British Columbia's in 2001.

The number of international graduate students in Manitoba as well as Newfoundland-an-Labrador showed a similarity. Capturing 4 % graduation in 2001, both figures showed an increase at 7% over the following 5 years. While the overseas graduate student accounted nearly 6% in 2001, Alberta province was made up smallest proportion at 4% in 2006, a solely decreased trend.





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