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Jan 10, 2019   #1
It is true that the world is getting smaller and smaller thanks to the development of science and technology. Some people believe that not all information about scientific studies, economy and academy should be shared freely because of its huge importance or values. I would argue that sharing much necessary information in such domains could bring about enormous benefits to human beings across the globe.

On the one hand, there is certain information which is too vital and precious to share with everyone because some different reasons. Take business as an example, more and more companies has emerged and invested on every aspects of life. Consequently, they need to compete to each other in appealing customers so as to increase their turnovers. Therefore, any information about a company's business strategies, special methods, procedures or new images of the products must be kept secretly with the view to avoiding compete unhealthy and imitating from their competitors.

On the other hand, distributing the valuable outcomes of findings from the fields of science, economy and academy has changed the world positively. Telecommunication services applied all over the world can be a typical evidence. This achievement has contributed to enhance communication of people in every corner of the world. Moreover, the success of other facets may stem from this significant achievement. For example, companies can flourish their business with the help to bring their brands to all households through advertisements on televisions, radios or internet. Another more crucial benefit of sharing meaningful findings is to keep humans safe and peaceful. If the medical experiments were just used in the laboratories, there would be no the best advanced methods of surgeon or medicines that have saved millions of patients.

In conclusion, although there are some particular work which needs to be kept secret, It seems to me that it it helpful to share much beneficial information to support a better world.

Holt - / 7,529 2001  
Jan 11, 2019   #2
Hoang, the prompt for this essay asks you to discuss both public points of view first. You are required to give a clear understanding of why each side believes that (a) information sharing should be done freely and (b) Information sharing should not be done at all. Only after the public discussion can you discuss your personal point of view. This type of discussion requirement uses the 3 paragraph reasoning method. Therefore, your essay is not properly informing the reader as you are not disclosing a public POV first. You have converted the essay into a solely personal opinion paper based on the given statement of the public point of view. That alters the discussion pattern completely from the original instructions. That is not how the essay is to be discussed so this essay will get a score, but I doubt it will be enough to be considered a passing one due to the missing discussion requirements.