Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
the spreading of specialized information
People have different views about the sharing of specialized information. While some people disagree with the idea of such information shared openly, I believe that it can be disclosed publicly with restrictions.
On one hand, having access to knowledge in various fields can vastly improve the quality of life for all. People acquired the detailed data will not easily be misled by advertisements so that they can save more money and time buying unwanted products. For example, advertising on magazines often sells products by equivocated or ambiguous words, such as 'the most popular', which is not further clarified how the popularity is measured.
On the other hand, I can understand the arguments against data sharing, Research in medicine and chemistry can cause danger to the public if they are not properly understood, for instance, the research in surgery. If individuals perform surgery without the base of medical knowledge, just by reading one of the research, there is a good possibility of hurting themselves. Furthermore, authorities would be questioned by people who did not fully comprehend the information. The time spent on explaining will considerably increase the difficulties of execution. In my view, the problems with disclosing information can be solved by adding some restrictions like acquiring under the guidance of related authorities. The information can only be received by people who obtained the thorough and corresponding knowledge.
In conclusion, it seems to me that people should have access to the information in a variety of field under the direction of relevant authorization.Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,797 
4780 @yakoe you did not follow the discussion format as presented in the original prompt. Your prompt paraphrase is not correct in the sense that, rather than presenting a summarized version of what you understood of the original prompt, which is the purpose of that statement, you decided to start the discussion immediately. Thus, leaving the reader confused as to what the point of the discussion is all about. There is always the assumption that you are to inform the reader in the opening statement because the "examiner" will (for all intents and purposes) not be familiar with the discussion topic. Therefore, you need to explain it to the examiner in the best way you know how. That means, you do not discuss the opinions nor present any data in this part of the essay yet.
That mistake led you to the wrong discussion format in the body of paragraphs as well. There are 3 discussion points to be represented in the body of paragraphs namely:
1. Point of view 1
2. Point of view 2
3. Personal Opinion
In your presentation, you limited yourself to an under developed discussion of one point of view and then you incorporated the second point of view with your personal opinion. That created a lapse in the discussion and resulted in an incomplete representation of the prompt. You would receive only a partial score in this instance for the TA section of the band score. When you neglect to properly represent the prompt, you risk losing a major scoring consideration in the process.
Your concluding statement is incomplete. It must contain the following information in order to be considered worthy of scoring:
1. A restatement of the discussion topic
2. Summary of points for discussion
3 - 4. Summarized body of paragraphs statements.
5. Personal opinion as a statement of fact
You need to Improve in these problem areas if you are to gain a chance of further improvement during the practice stage of your essay tests. Remember, all Task 2 essays are composed of 5 paragraphs, Never 4. 4 paragraphs are only acceptable in the Task 1 essay as those essays do not require a conclusion.
