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'Not just sharing profits' - Should rich countries share wealth among poor countries?

sidraziaahmad 1 / 2  
Nov 18, 2012   #1
Around the globe we can see some drastic difference in the living standards of people of different countries. In some countries there is an abundance of resources for daily essentials and they are waisted in many different ways. On the other hand in poor countries like Ethiopia, even clean drinking water is not available for everyone. In think this huge difference has created many problems for both rich and poor. People from poor areas try to go to developed countries for good pays. Sometimes,those who can't get the visas use illegal means to enter other countries. As legally,they cannot work there, so they choose wrong ways of earring money like steeling or kidnapings. The Poor countries invest on there citizens to become doctors,engineers or scientists but after graduating they leave their own country to have a good living in first world country. This brain draining is affecting the poor countries. They lack skilled people on many posts. Although rich countries sometimes invest in some projects in the third world countries,which is of some help towards there economy,but helping them directly to improve people's living standards will be of great help. Countries like China and USA can help other less developed countries not only by there wealth but also by giving them technical support in different sectors. This will improve the quality of live in these countries. In my opinion rich countries should help the poor ones in every way possible so the people there should have a good standard of living. Investment in economy is fine but helping them improving the quality of life will be wounderfull.

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kurianjoseph1 8 / 18 7  
Nov 19, 2012   #2
Is this for the IELTS test ?

In some countries there are abudant resources for

Your need to come directly to point why rich nations should help poor nations. I think you went off topic. You mentioned about problems faced by poor countries, not the reasons.

You need to organise the essay.

Introduction - you have to write about what you are going to discuss in the essay and clearly state your opinion.

There has been drastic changes in the living standard of people in richer countries. When it comes to sharing wealth with poor countries, my belief is that rich nations should help the poor countries by giving education and food to improve the standard of living. This essay will justify why richer nation should help the poor countries.

Body Paragraph 1 - reasons to justify your argument. Provide examples if needed.
Body Paragraph 2 - reasons to justify your argument

Conclusion - Summarise your essay. Restate your opinion.

Read some sample essays and follow the structure.
Hope this helps.
dumi 1 / 6923 1592  
Nov 19, 2012   #3
Very good advice from kurianjoseph1 ... I am 100% in agreement. If you practice this structure, you can really improve your writing; manage time better and more importantly score marks. Follow this advice and arrange your essay in seperate paragraphs.

wai sted

------- wated ; waste and waist are two different words.
OP sidraziaahmad 1 / 2  
Nov 19, 2012   #4
Many thanks for the replies. All of you gave me really good advice.
Yes, this is for ielts.
joythblessy 86 / 272 15  
Nov 20, 2012   #5

It is better if you write it in paragraphs.

Word strength also important. It should be 250 words minimam.

Try you can do it...
nuram - / 2  
Nov 20, 2012   #6
Hi, everyone!!!

i am applying for a master's program (political leadership) and they ask me for a personal statement. The question is that:
1. describe your reason for applying for the course you wish to follow and explain how it will help you with the work you expect to do your return to your home country.

2. you should include an outline intended profession, your ambitions and your career plan
3. describe also your most outstanding non-academic achievement involving other people where you demonstrated leadership potential (you may describe an extra curricular/sport/community/professional activity or an assignment)

i don't have any experience of writing this kind of statement. any one could help me please

Thanks a lot !
dumi 1 / 6923 1592  
Nov 20, 2012   #7
Hi Nuram,
First you should post your essay in your own thread. Start a thread and post your draft. We will give our comments. Do not use other members' threads for posting your essays.... they usually do not capture others attention because you dont own the thread.

Think along the lines they have given and do your first draft. Then post it as your own thread! You will then recieve comments from us as how to go on improving your essY!
nuram - / 2  
Nov 20, 2012   #8
Hi dumi, thanks for your advise, but how do i use my threads, could you help me?
dumi 1 / 6923 1592  
Nov 20, 2012   #9
At the left hand corner on top of your screen (below profile/ transaction) you find the "new thread" (a black color box ). Click on that and you will be navigated to a new screen. Type your essay title in the thin upper block for the subject. Then write your essay in the message block. Then click on ''new thread''. Make sure you post a meaningful essay, otherwise they will suspend you.

Look forward to helping you with your new thread : )
iamtrying 3 / 8  
Nov 20, 2012   #10
All the suggestions mentioned above are correct. To add, its very important to read sample essays either TOEFL/ IELTS / GRE. This will help you understand the writing standards required by these testing organizations.

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