Unanswered [5] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 6

Shawn Anchor believes that our brain views can shapes our reality.


Dioba 68 / 104 7  
Sep 27, 2016   #1
IELTS Summary TED The Happy Secret for Better Work

Shawn Anchor believes that our brain views can shapes our reality. Not only change our brain views, but also we can change the lens in which has effect on our happiness, educational and business outcome at the same time. He tried to find the key to understanding the science of happiness. He said that our external world is predictive of our happiness, we just know only 10 percent of long-term happiness. Fortunately, the most gives impact is how to our brain views processes of the world. That is the formula for happiness and success. We can change our mind, automatically we can affect reality. From his research, he find that only a quarter job successes are predicted by IQ, the rest are predicted by our optimism levels, social supports and the last our ability to see stress as a challenge. When our brain positive performs, it will rises other aspects such as creativity and energy.

Alamsyah Ismail 24 / 43  
Sep 27, 2016   #2
Hello dioba
I have a twice advice to you

Not only change our brain views , but also we can change ...
Our brain view can change with perspective

educational and business outcome
educational= adjective
bussiness outcome= noun phrase

it is not relevant to combine and use pararel word
Ucha MSN 17 / 26 4  
Sep 27, 2016   #3
... that our brain views POINT OF VIEWS can shapes SHAPE our reality.
He tried to find the key to understanding UNDERSTAND the science of happiness.
... of our happiness, we just know only SOMETIMES ONLY ACTIVATE ABOUT 10 percent of OUR long-term happiness. Fortunately, the most gives BIG impact is how to our brain views ...

From his research, he find FOUND that only a quarter job ...
When our brain positive POSITIVE THINKING performs, it will rises RISE other aspects ...
OP Dioba 68 / 104 7  
Nov 21, 2016   #4
Merged:IELTS summary TED for second week

Shawn Anchor believes that our brain views can shapes our reality, change our brain views, but also we can change the lens in which has effect on our happiness, educational and business outcome at the same time. He tried ...
mem77 62 / 98 6  
Nov 21, 2016   #5
Dear Dioba, here some advice for your writing and feel free to correct me too!

He tried to find the key to understanding the science of happiness.

We can change our mind, automatically we can affect reality.and can affect reality automatically.

...he findfound that only a quarter job successes arewere predicted by IQ,...

...the rest arewere predicted by our optimism levels,...

...it will risesgrow other aspects such ...

Regards
Holt [Contributor] - / 8,621 2516  
Nov 21, 2016   #6
Dioba, do us a favor and include the link to the video that you watched ok? It is a bit difficult for us to assess your work when we cannot analyze the video personally for comparison with your summary. Basically, your summary left me with some unanswered questions. I wonder if the video provided the answer but you did not finish watching the video so you did not realize that the questions had answers in the later part of the presentation? Some questions that the reader is left with include:

1. Did Shawn Anchor find the key to happiness through his research? What was his hypothesis regarding this idea?
2. How does our brain change or shape our view of reality?
3. What did you mean by "The most that gives impact..."? What is the most?
4. How does changing our mind automatically affect reality?

When you write a summary, you are not supposed to leave the reader with more questions rather than answers to the article, video, or audio recording that you listened to. Make sure to preempt any questions that the summary may pose and include responses to them. As you can see, while you were listening to and watching the video, you could have noted more keywords or information that could have led to a more informative summary.


Home / Writing Feedback / Shawn Anchor believes that our brain views can shapes our reality.