Shopping malls are great places to spend more leisure time and meet other. Do you agree or disagree

Shopping as the main activity

It's true that many people think the shopping centres are the wonderful places to spend free time or meet friends. This essay shows you the disadvantages and effect on spend almost leisure time at shopping malls

Although shopping centres play important roles to providing goods conveniently to customers, they have negative effects on people. Modern malls are great places to get something we need such as food, drink, house stuffs. In addiction, they also have space for coffee shops, restaurants, theatre and children's space so that everyone can relax their time. As a result of this attraction, people can be addicted doing shopping. Even they can waste money on something they do not need, this lead to they will have depts.

In a further view, young people are more negative since they spend much time at malls instead of doing sports or joining classes. Time for improving their social skills is reduced day by day. So their brain does not have condition to develop positive thinking, ideas.

With regard to children, letting them go to malls to enjoy or get fast foods usually can make their habitat. They don't dedicate to gain knowledge or develop physically. This will affect their health and their education

To conclusion, people can entertain at malls but it is not perfect places to enjoy their time.
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Please help me check my grammar
I am a beginner

Hello @jane4455!

Firstly, you should paraphrase the question in the first sentence in your first paragraf. i see you have done it but it is not perfect yet. "...It's true that it's often argue of many people that the shopping centres ..."

Secondly, the second sentence of your first paragraph should answer clearly the question are you agree or disagree by giving outline trough general reason

Then, to get high band score it needs minimum 250 words. Moreover, it better if both body paragraphs explain specifically about your reason.

@Ali20
Thanks a lot. my grammar and my vocabulary are too poor. i am trying to do better