It is difficult for people living in ciites today get enough physical exercise.
What are the causes?
Shortage of physical exercise is a prevailing situation among citizens
This essay will examine the main causes of physical exertion loss and possible solutions to this problem.
The two main causes of workout shortfall are citizens' busy work schedules and the popularity of sedentary leisure activities. Since living costs in metropolises are tremendous, citizens tend to spend most of their time working, even at the weekend. As a result, they hardly ever have time for physical activity. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, Americans worked an average of 34. 4 hours per week. Besides, engaging in screen time exercises such as watching TV or playing computer games seems to be a trendy way to relax these days. Hence, time spent doing sports or outdoor games has reduced significantly. A new study shows that the average American has more than five hours of leisure time a day, while only 20 minutes is for exercise.
a number of possible solutions to this problem are raising people's awareness and installing more fitness equipment. When metropolises residents are fully aware of regular exercise's significance, they would invest more time participating in active exercise or doing workouts. Additionally, since more training device is set up in parks and other public areas, people tend to join in more exertion. Take Le Thi Rieng Park in Vietnam for example, it has attracted an increasing number of local residents after being equipped with more equipment. Besides, the government should build more bicycle lanes and make sidewalks safer in order to inspire more citizens to cycle or walk to walk.
To conclude, hectic city life and new leisure activities are the cause of the reduction in time for physical exercising. However, we can significantly boost by raising alertness and providing more appliances
Holt Educational Consultant - / 13,210 4317
A review of the original prompt indicates that the writer should have provided reasoning topics for the questions provided. 2 causes and 2 solutions. These should have been presented over the remaining 4 sentences allowed for the paragraph since the writer has to establish the foundation of his opinion, based upon the restated topic. While the examiner will appreciate a repeat of the discussion instructions, he cannot give you points for that since it does not help establish the clarity of your opinion within the prompt restatement + personal opinion paragraph. The reference can exist in the paragraph, but it will not help your score.
Review the grammar rules when it comes to apostrophe usage. It cannot be used to indicate the plural form of a word and a word that should be in plural form should not be proprietarial in presentation. The writer also failed to capitalize the first word of a particular sentence in his presentation. A writing structure error of the notable kind. These are clear references to a lack of punctuation mark usage knowledge.
As far as reasons go, the paragraph would have been better scored if the last sentence were not presented in the discussion anymore. Note how it was presented as a single sentence? Yeah, that is not going to qualify as a completely developed explanation paragraph so it will be a scoring deduction instead. This is the same situation that occurred in the solutions paragraph. So there will be 2 C+C deductions applied to the essay.