Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2


mingyingggg 1 / -  
Aug 8, 2021   #1

heavy workloads of employees

These days, employees have grappled with several issues associated with their heavy workloads, such as lack of quality time with their families. Therefore, some view a reduction of working days as a possible solution to this problem. In this essay, I will provide some valid arguments to support lessening working hours.

First and foremost, a hectic work schedule can damage employees' physical health. To be more precise, they need to devote most of their time to working and meeting the companies' requirements, which can lead to several health problems. Some closely correlated with this issue are strokes or heart diseases, as most workers lead a sedentary life of spending much time sitting at work, and do not have much time left for daily exercises. As a result, these illnesses can become a threat to their productivity, and furthermore, the likelihood of them being considered for promotion, since they may not be able to handle some certain tasks in the future.

Another justification for fewer working hours is that they can offer the workers the chance to improve their mental health. To be specific, with a suitable work schedule, they can participate in different recreational and physical activities, or spend more quality time with their families and friends, which will possibly help them to be more mentally active, and therefore, resulting in a boost in effectiveness at work. As a matter of fact, an excessive workload can lead to fatigue and a rise in the level of stress, which, in the long run, can cause more serious psychological issues including depression or anxiety, and consequently, their overall well-being will be adversely affected, entailing a fall in their concentration and work productivity.

In conclusion, I believe there are several reasons why a heavy work schedule should be replaced by shorter working hours. These include an improvement in the workers' physical and mental health, which can enable them to perform better at their workplace.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 12,678 4113  
Aug 9, 2021   #2
The prompt paraphrase is incomplete. It must reference the original 35 hours work week consideration as originally mentioned in the prompt. A clear topic reference in relation to the discussion basis must be provided to create the thesis statement for the A/ D reference. At least one topic each should be mentioned regardless of the accompanying topic in the individual reasoning paragraphs. The prompt paraphrase can expect a weak starting score.

The writer presented an incomplete discussion as it only focuses on the advantages. This is an advantage/ disadvantage discussion so the format should be:

Reasoning paragraph 1: 2 related advantages in a coherent and cohesive paragraph .
Reasoning paragraph 2: 2 related disadvantages of the connected kind.

This is just a comparison essay. There is no personal opinion requirement. Points will be deducted because the writer added an relevant . discussion point in the summary conclusion paragraph.The essay can fail as there is no proper conclusion presented.

Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2 - SHORTER WORKING HOURS