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'the shortest and the safest goals' - Why do you think people attend universities?

MoonMoon 7 / 14  
Sep 1, 2012   #1
Hi everybody
All of your comments are welcomed and valued.
please give me some pieces of advice.I appreciate it in advance.

Nowadays, more and more people tend to attend university. There may be a couple reasons why they like to study in a college or university and I would like to emphasize on three conspicuous ones which are, increasing knowledge, ameliorating social skills and enjoying a higher level of social prestige.

The first and the foremost reason why people struggle to enter a university program and having academic study is to acquire adequate knowledge and competence which in turn results in gaining a decent job. Nowadays, great professional opportunities are only available for the graduates who are well educated and expert in their fields of study. Furthermore, as the technology progresses daily, an essential skill to succeed in any career is to keep track of the state of the art knowledge. Studying in college or university is a proper way to learn how to keep you up to date.

Another significant reason why people are willing to attend university is raising social skills. Campus environment provides a good chance for everybody to contribute a broad range of communities; so that one can benefit from abundant experiences such as, how to present his or her idea in a meeting, how to handle interactions among peers and the like. In addition, working in a group can bring you cooperation skills as well as independency skills, under the wings of which, you can reach even unattainable goals.

The third reason of attendance at colleges is to boost the social prestige. In order to shed light on the issue, I would like to draw your attention to the immense social prestige which a university professor enjoys, in a society. The more you become knowledgeable the higher level of prestige you gain.

Although, taking part in a college or university is not the only way to achieve the discussed goals, but it seems to be the shortest and the safest.

OP MoonMoon 7 / 14  
Sep 4, 2012   #2
Hi dear Thao,
Your comments seems to be logical and quite helpful.
I would like to thank you for your great help.
about the comment :"contribute to a broad range of communities; => I don't really get what you mean by this"
i just wanted to say that "people can participate in diverse communities on campus". Can you suggest a better sentence to replace?
sharasims 1 / 2  
Sep 4, 2012   #3
It's a nice piece, few missed words, and a quick re-read for adjustments will do. But good luck.
caihuu 2 / 1  
Sep 6, 2012   #4
Hi Moonmoon
I am just new.
I'd like to comment your essaybriefly as follows:
1/ Your ideal is so good. I love this essay although
2/ Your introduction is not hook enough to readers.
3/ Your conclusion is quite short. It is not equal to the whole eassay compared to other above paragraphs.
Anyway, i also do not have much experience in writting. Help me revise some my threads, please
Thanks in advance

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