Unanswered [12] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 4


How do you show your appreciation to your family and friends-agree or disagree


ah_zafari [Contributor] 40 / 672 148  
Jan 14, 2015   #1
Topic: Some people view giving presents as important way to show care to family and friends, others think there are more important things can be done to show care and appreciation. Do you agree or disagree?

We all start our social life in a family as the smallest social unit and expand it by making new friends outsides our families. Being in contact with family members and friends for the majority of our time builds strong emotional bonds among us. Thus, it is obvious that we seek a way to show how much we love them and how important they are for us. Some people believe that providing their families and friends with gifts is the best approach for this purpose, while others think being caring and respectful toward people we love does not limit to gifts and we should do much more in this respect. I utterly agree with the latter opinion because of financial and psychological reasons.

To begin with, people can deeply feel our love and respect when they receive a help at hard situations, especially when they encounter to hardships. To be precise, a family that cannot afford the living costs, including rent or even foods prices, need financial supports more than a gift. If a family member, who is in a better economic condition, grants them with some money they will remember that help for their entire life, which is undoubtedly much worthier than a present.

Moreover, sometimes we need someone to turn to when we feel loneliness and break down mentally. Fostering emotional bonds between people who are in a relationship or a part of a family is the best way for showing their respect to each other, which is not replaceable with any other way. As an example, elderly are usually left aloof and complain about loneliness. The biggest help they can receive is that their children frequently visit them to put them in a better mental condition. This behaviour would be the best present someone can gain.

In conclusion, providing friends and families with gifts and helps are two different approaches people may choose to show how they care about them. In light of the aforementioned facts one can easily conclude that producing strong attachments with people we love is a precious gift lasts for a lifetime period and is not forgettable like normal presents.

Thanks in advance for your help
vangiespen - / 4,134 1449  
Jan 15, 2015   #2
These types of essays are a bit difficult to balance in writing because there are no right or wrong answers when it comes to this topic. In truth, you should have discussed this essay in a balanced manner. Meaning, present the positive side of giving both physical and social presents to people. The physical discussion will offer an insight into the way that physical gifts end up becoming mementos of a relationship, that helps cement a bond between people by reminding them of each other and their friendship as connoted by the gift. Then also discuss the way that emotional support is a gift that, although unseen, carries weight as well with the recipient. It may hold more weight in terms of bonding and friendship because of the emotional (rather than financial) support that it offers during a time of emotional distress. Financial gifts fall under physical, not emotional gifts and thus should not be classified as a non physical present.

Therefore, the proper way to have discussed the essay prompt would have been to offer a paragraph supporting physical presents and a paragraph discussing other manners of showing emotional support and appreciation to your friends and family.Offering another paragraph prior to the concluding one that voices the opinion that both methods of appreciation work to a certain degree depending upon the requirements of the situation.
OP ah_zafari [Contributor] 40 / 672 148  
Jan 15, 2015   #3
Thank you very much for your feedback. Actually this topic is really confusing as an "agree or disagree" usually starts with a statement and asks us to say to what extend we agree or disagree with the statement. In this topic there are two different viewpoints and it is asked whether I agree or disagree. Agree or disagree with what? agree or disagree with the fact that there are two viewpoints?!!! isn't it strange? actually this is a topic an IELTS taker posted on a weblog and I think it should be a kind of topic that asks to argue over both viewpoints. If this were the case, I would write one paragraph about physical gifts, one paragraph social presents and finally give my own opinion, as you somehow suggested. But the topic is agree or disagree and I had to choose one side. Do you think the topic could have been a different type and the IELTS taker might reword the topic in a wrong way? Do you think I am right about what said above?

btw, did you see any grammar errors or wrong choice of words?

Thanks again for your help. Really appreciate it
vangiespen - / 4,134 1449  
Jan 15, 2015   #4
When a topic asks you to agree or disagree, you don't have to necessarily choose a specific side, provided you can justify your agreement and disagreement with the topic to a certain extent. It is an essay approach that shows how you have given thought and analysis to the topic provided and offers an insight into the way that you understand and present opinions on the given topic. Like I said, there are no right or wrong ways of responding to this essay. All that matters is that the writer provided an honest opinion about the topic. The topic is not strange at all as it asks you consider the ways that people show appreciation for one another in modern times. The only opinion asked for is whether you agree that aside from physical gifts, there are other methods of presenting appreciation to family and friends. There are similar topics relating to the prompt given by the IELTS taker but I cannot accurately say that he misworded the prompt he provided. I would have to see the original writing in order to judge if the prompt presented was differently put across from what the writer understood. Your response, is alright and the grammar you used is understandable. There is a tendency for redundant words and the like in your essay but that comes with your trying to keep reminding the reader of the topic you are discussing. You should learn to word your essay in such a manner that you can put across your thoughts in a concise manner. That is something that happens with constant practice :-)


Home / Writing Feedback / How do you show your appreciation to your family and friends-agree or disagree
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳