Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0] - SERVICES
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 6

IELTS: Most significant invention of the last 30years - Internet


Nhasir Rahmatia 6 / 9  
Mar 21, 2014   #1
Question:
The Internet is probably the most significant invention of the last 30 years. Without it, our lives would be completely different.
To what extend do you agree or disagree?


Answer:
Over 30 years, the most significant invention is the internet, our lives has been influenced by the internet and it has changed human lives more than 50 percent. Every day, the scientists do trial and renovate every thing in the world. The result is that there are many technologies discovered by them. One of technology discovered is internet. Internet has many functions in many sides such as economic, education, health, social, communication and others. The main function of the internet is to communicate. Life is communication. Every thing in our lives need to be communicated each other. By internet, we can do every thing.

Internet makes human lives to be easier. Internet helps human to do the human job and decreases physical activities because many human jobs are changed by internet. For example, we can communicate by our family without visiting them, we can send letter, duty, document to someone by email, we can lecture by online (learning distance), we can apply job or university overseas by internet, internet can solve social problem like traffic jam because many companies allow their employee doing their job in their home and internet is able to stop criminal action like stopping drugs distribution.

However, internet has negative effect for society. There are many irresponsible people doing their bad action by internet such as gambling, terrorism, insulting, selling drugs, distributing sex movie and others. Internet influences child behavior and child psychology, internet can cause quarrel and internet also causes many kinds of disease because of decreasing of physical activities causing obesity, cancer, blindness and others.

Overall, All of people in the world know that everything has negative and positive effects, so does internet. the most important thing is we can divide between negative and positive effects and take positive side and avoid negative side.

oktavianna 1 / 1  
Mar 21, 2014   #2
One of technology discovered is internet

what do you mean of the sentence? you use doble verbs (discovered andis )
I think you have to write " one of technologies"
dumi 1 / 6,931 1592  
Mar 21, 2014   #3
Over 30 years, the most significant invention is the internet, our lives has been influenced by the internet and it has changed human lives more than 50 percent.

Well, this sentence needs improvement because it needs to hook the reader. Have a shorter, yet interesting sentence to open your essay.
SHanafi 120 / 416 93  
Mar 21, 2014   #4
Let me assist you. In order to get good band and answer the task responses, this type of prompt you should take your position, as the task want you to extend agree or disagree.

The Internet is probably the most significant invention of the last 30 years. Without it, our lives would be completely different.
To what extend do you agree or disagree

Therefore to organize your writing, it is good to follow Dumi suggestion above.
sntinn 8 / 36 9  
Mar 23, 2014   #5
Your content is quite good; there are some minor errors.

every thing

everything

communicate by

communicate to/with (if you want this be the intransitive verb)

For example, we can communicate by our family without visiting them; we can send letter, duty, document to someone by emails; we can lecture by online (learning distance); we can apply job or university overseas by internet. Internet can also solve social problem like traffic jam because many companies allow their employee doing their job in their home, and it is able to stop criminal action like stopping drugs distribution.

The comma should be replaced with the semi-colon to separate each sentence.

Good luck
Arun0506 27 / 120 34  
Mar 23, 2014   #6
Internet helps human to do the human job and decreases physical activities because many human jobs are changed by internet.

---> This statement leaves me in the state of assumption. I can understand that Internet helps us to complete our work easily which normally demands for increased physical activity. Something wrong with this sentence. Please avoid repetitive words instead try to use synonyms.

internet is able to stop criminal action like stopping drugs distribution

--.I dont think internet is really helping to arrest such illegal activities rather it becomes another means of communication to strength illegal network

Overall, All of people in the world know that everything has negative and positive effects, so does internet. the most important thing is we can divide between negative and positive effects and take positive side and avoid negative side.

In conclusion, I would strongly support the view that the internet is the most significant innovation which has been influencing various aspects of human life to large extent. Though internet has provided huge range of benefits, we cannot overlook the drawbacks associated with them. However, on balance advantages far outweigh the disadvantages, people should be able to distinguish its pros and cons for the better usage.


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS: Most significant invention of the last 30years - Internet