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It is significant that zoos are used to protect rare animals - IELTS essay

logo3098 5 / 16 1  
Nov 6, 2014   #1
Q:Some people think zoos are cruel and all the zoos should be closed. However, some people think zoos are useful to protect the rare animals.Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

There are lots of zoos across the world. Some people state that zoo that limit free of wild animals should be closed; others believe that protecting rare animals is the function of the zoos. My view is that zoos protect the life of rare animals.

People who harbor the view that zoos should be closed have their own reasons. First of all, the zoos restrict the free of wild animals due to cages. Wild animals of zoos live in a cage that allow them to move around in small space, which change from wild animals to domestic animals leading to wildlife lose nature features of them.

In contrast, some people believe that zoos protect rare animals in nowadays when the fur of rare animals is very luxury. More and more hunters kill rare animals in order to their fur or tusk, for example, there are thousands of elephants killed by hunters, and then their tusks will be cut by people,but zoo reduces happened this phenomenon thus conserve the animals' life.

Personally, I agree that zoo is beneficial for rare animals due to protecting diversity of wildlife. Because habitats of wildlife are demolished and climate change, thousands of species are extincted every year. In this question, the zoo plays a key role in preserving the diversity of wildlife by artificial feeding and breeding.

To sum up, it is significant that zoos are used to protect rare animals. This means that we should improve facilities and areas of zoo, and should not close the zoo that is only home to wildlife in this day and age.

vangiespen - / 4,137 1449  
Nov 7, 2014   #2
Shu, you certainly did your best to express your relevant and very good opinions on the topic presented. I applaud you for your excellent effort and clearly thought out and developed essay. However, your grammar needs help in order to better present your ideas. Let me help you out with that aspect of the essay. I will offer my suggestions about how the essay could have been better presented :-)

People who harbor the view that zoos should ...

- People believe that zoos restrict the movement of wild animals within their cages. They are forced to interact with humans, which leads to their domestication. A process which removes their natural instincts for survival in the wild.

In contrast, some people believe that zoos protect ...

- Others believe that the zoos protect the animals, specially the rare kinds, and thus prevent the endangerment and extinction of the species. As more and more animals are hunted for the needs and luxuries of humans, the zoos present a safe haven for these animals whose mission and reason for being is to protect and conserve the life of the animals that need care.

Personally, I agree that zoo is beneficial for rare animals ...

- I am of the opinion that these zoos serve a benefit for the animals whose diverse wildlife and habitats are being threatened by the constantly expanding use of forest land and resources by humans. As their habitats are demolished in the name of human advancement and as climate change continues to adversely affect the wild life habits, these animals need a place to protect them from the dangers of an ever changing world. This kind of protection can only exist for them in zoos.

To sum up, it is significant that zoos are used to protect ...

- Your conclusion is wrong. You are not supposed to present a new idea or present suggestions in the conclusion. Do a correct restatement of the prompt, summary of discussion, and presentation of your opinion again in order to properly close the essay.

This is an excellent effort. Keep up the good work!
OP logo3098 5 / 16 1  
Nov 7, 2014   #3
thanks for your helps. could you give me a sample about conclusion?
Vns9x 102 / 236 16  
Nov 7, 2014   #4
Do not utilize 5 body paragraphs. In other words, try to merge some of your reasons. In fact, by doing so, your essay will appear to be more informative and creative.
vangiespen - / 4,137 1449  
Nov 7, 2014   #5
Here is a sample conclusion:

In this debate,one can conclude that there are no right or wrong answers. Those who believe that zoos are cruel and should be closed because animals are kept in cages far removed from their natural habitats deliver solid arguments in support of their stance. However, we cannot discount that the side that believes the zoos should be kept open because the zoo preserves the wildlife and prevents their extinction have a better supporting argument. My opinion though, is that the zoos are the only safe haven for animals because they are kept alive and healthy in an environment as similar as possible in a constantly changing world that renders their natural habitats extinct.
OP logo3098 5 / 16 1  
Nov 11, 2014   #6
thank you very much.

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