Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3

IELTS writing: Similarity of different places.

my88626 8 / 16 2  
Dec 8, 2012   #1
Thanks for your kindly help!

Topic:In the past, people used to travel abroad to look many differences from their home country. Nowadays, the sceneries in places all over the world are more and more similar. What are the causes of the similarities? Do you think the advantages of this similarity outweigh the disadvantages?

Traveling is a common way that can help people to explore more about the world. However, it is no doubt that globalization make the world looks more and more similar. Without going aboard, we can also have the same life with people from other places . In my view, cultural globalization also bring us cultural assimilation, although we may not prevent this trend of similarity, something that related to local culture and history inside cannot be replaced.

First of all, with the help of globalization, people can get to know variety of cultures much easier than before. We can choose to browse website, watch movies and read books to decrease the time which is spent on travelling. That indeed help to broaden our horizon and prevent the "cultural shock" which happened very often in the old times due to less developed transportation and communication tools.

As a result of massive urban sprawl, our city is becoming crowed with limited space. We may find that all downtown areas around the world are built up with all kinds of skyscrapers,same cafe shops and restaurants. It is quite similar view when people traveled to financial center of Hong Kong, Singapore and Shanghai. Travelers might bdecrease with losing their curiosity and being tired of looking those same scenery all the time.

On the other hand, I don't think that all those similarity bring us advantages. When all the thing are becoming similar with each other, the culture diversity will be destroyed at the same time. Scenery does not only mean what is appear like, but also contain local culture and history. It is a negative influence that some minority cultures may be replaced, even be on the verge of extinction when we develop our modern cities.

In a summary, the similarities are an inevitable outcome of modernization and cultural globalization. It indeed bring people closer, it have a potential threat to our local culture. Therefore,it is suggested that we should consider a balance between city development and cultural preservation.

dumi 1 / 6,927 1592  
Dec 8, 2012   #2
Without going aboard,abroad we can also have the same life with people from other places .

Actually, what your prompt means slightly deviates from what you mean here... It talks of having similar environments everywhere in the world as a result of globalization. So you need to align your intro with the prompt;

In today's world, many cities contain similar features such as buildings,, flyovers, roads etc. reducing the differentiation between them.

In my view, cultural globalization also brings us cultural assimilation,

Pay attention to grammar more... You write well!
OP my88626 8 / 16 2  
Dec 8, 2012   #3
Thank you Dumi!!

Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS writing: Similarity of different places.