Some People Think That It Is Better To Educate Boys And Girls In Separate Schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools.
Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
As educational systems have become so diverse, single-sex and mixed schools are established with different academic purposes. However, many people argue that children will perform better in separate schools, while others advocate the advantages mixed gender ones. The following essay will consider both sides and give my personal viewpoint.
On the one hand, it is believed that boys and girls would be more likely to reach their full potential in a single-gender academic environment. To begin with, they have better concentration in the class, thus can achieve higher grades in exams. Indeed, students would not be distracted by love fantasies of teenage or getting involved in immature relationships. Also, it is observed that teenagers tend to comply with shool regulations more when surrounded by same-sex peers. Moreover, increasing sexual misbehavior has been witnessed in many cases of assaults and inappropriate discrimination which occur in mixed-gender schools. Nevertheless, single-sex institutions contribute significantly to reduce the rate of those incidences, thereby create an unbiased environment for teens.
On the other hand, opponents prefer co-education schools for an array of beneficial aspects. The primary reason is that students can develop better communication with the opposite sex. The mutual interaction is of great importance in the sense that juveniles will learn to understand and respect the other gender in terms of biological and emotional sides. Furthermore, mixed-gender schooling system provides students with team-working or competition activities, which greatly enhances their interpersonal skills with the counterparts. Another positive point of this system is that it is less costly comparing to single-sex schools. Clearly, dividing boys and girls demands more educational expense on facilities, curriculums and other sectors as well.
In conclusion, both schooling systems have their own merits and play critical roles in educating and assisting children development. However, I am in favour of co-education schools on account of better interpersonal communication and lower expenditure in comparison to single-sex ones.
P/S: I am struggling with the length of this essay since it is more than 300 words (I don't know where to shorten more), also the structure and words usage. Please help me, thank you.
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In the first paragraph, the topic restatement should only cover 2 sentences. It should not contain an extra sentence that does not reflect any information from the original prompt (sentence 1). Remove the unnecessary information presentation and your word count will automatically become limited in the presentation. Remember the golden rule: "Every paragraph should only cover 5 lines of writing" that is equivalent to 5 sentences.
Avoid word fillers as well to keep the word count down (To begin with, On the one hand, on the other hand, Moreover, In conclusion, etc.)
Even with over 300 words, you still forgot to discuss your personal opinion in the essay. There is a lack of third person and first person pronoun usage in the presentation paragraphs. These will help the examiner discover who is doing the talking in the 3 paragraphs (2 public third person gender free pronouns for the public opinion + 1 first person pronoun for the personal point of view). The first person point of view needs to be as completely developed as the 2 public POV as this is a requirement in the presentation. You should not make it a single sentence presentation as a part of the conclusion. That creates an open-ended essay, which will lower your score.
I think you can try to write an idea in a sentence, it's what a journalist told me when we wrote, of course not in English, but you can consider.