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'My sister and I' - Comparison/Contrast essay.

radair101422 1 / 1  
Jun 19, 2012   #1
I am new to this website, so I hope I am doing this right! I have never been good at writing papers.. so I'm hoping I can get some tips on what I need to change or do to make a good grade on this essay. My professor told us to write a comparison/contrast paper. It has to be 500 words about two people. She wanted us to focus on apperance, personality, and hobbies. Thanks for the help in advance!

My sister and I

Most siblings have a lot of things in common, like the same interests. However, my older sister and I are very different from each other, although many people often mistake us as twins. Once people actually get to know us they realize that we are very different in personalities and hobbies. I have often wondered how we ended up so different. We may look a like, but that's one of the only things we have in common.

We have many similarities in our appearances. My sister and I are both very short; and have the same exact height. Furthermore, we both have brown hair, blue eyes, and freckles head to toe. Our round faces are almost identical. We also wear the same sizes in clothes because of our small figures. Moreover, our styles of fashion are also similar, including t-shirts, shorts, and flip-flops. This similar appearance was a problem growing up, because we would steal each other's clothes. Our tiny hands and chubby feet look exactly alike. However, thankfully my sister's feet are a little bigger than mine, so she couldn't steal my shoes. Our shoe size is probably the only difference in our appearances.

Even though most of our appearances are similar, our personalities are completely opposite. My sister is a very hyper person, but I'm a calm and laid-back person. I love planning and organizing, but my sister never plans anything and just goes with the flow. She is very selfish and rarely puts others before herself. I have a really big heart and always put others before myself. She is a very social person and loves to talk; however, I have never been a talkative person and I like to keep to myself. She has a really bad temper and gets angry easily. It takes a lot to get me mad and I'm a very patient person. I'm always in a good mood, but my sister is rarely in good mood. I'm not a very picky person and I don't care if I don't get my way; however, my sister always has to have her way. She is always stubborn and makes situations so difficult for everyone else. I'm not stubborn at all and I try to do whatever is easiest for everyone. I love animals and children more than anything! My sister can't stand animals and doesn't plan on having children.

Finally, our hobbies are very different. I love being active and playing sports. In high school I was a cheerleader and a soccer player. I attended every baseball, basketball, and football game. Sports were a big part of my life. Nevertheless, my sister has never played a sport in her entire life. She loves to sleep and be lazy. If it requires work, then she wants no part of it. I love to hunt, fish, and be outdoors; however, my sister doesn't like to get dirty or be outside. Her favorite hobbies are shopping and watching television. I can't stand to shop or be cooped up inside. She loves spending money and I rarely spend any money. My sister has always been a girlie girl and I have always been a tomboy.

Many siblings that have the same parents look a lot alike. Siblings that are raised the same usually share a lot in common. My sister and I may look like twins, but we actually have little in common. I can't imagine having a sister who is less like me then she is. It's hard to understand how we ended up so different, but were raised the same exact way. It just goes to show that not all siblings have similarities.

Phone 3 / 1  
Jun 20, 2012   #2
- Ideas are excellent.
- Grammar is excellent
- Idea links should be improved (the links mean cohesion and coherence)
- Outline: you should focus on how to organize and support ideas. (which on is the main ideas and how to support accurately)

Anyway, now i know about you as well as your sister.
Good Luck :))
OP radair101422 1 / 1  
Jun 21, 2012   #3
I feel like it needs something.. just not sure what! I have been staring at it for hours trying to figure it out.

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