A slight increase in the recruitment of French language teachers in Ontario between 2001 and 2007

The graph below shows information about the recruitment of teachers in Ontarion between 2001 and 2007.

Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph provides information about the percentage of people who recruited new English teachers and new French teachers based on year graduation in Ontario from 2001 to 2007. Overall, there was a slight increase in the recruitment of French language teachers. Meanwhile, English teachers got a downward trend in generally. Recruitment of French educator is larger than English during the period.

Based on graph, the number of French language teacher that graduated in 2001 stood at 70 percent of recruiting. The percentage of the following graduation year of teacher fell to around 50. However, graduation year from 2003 to 2005 went up by around just under 60 - 70. In the following year, it declined slightly by just fewer than 70. However, it rocketed at about 80 percent later.

The recruitment of English teacher was dramatic decrease between graduation years of 2001 - 2003 by 70 - 40 percent. Then it rose from 40 to just around 50 in 2004 and 2005 of graduation years. Two years later, it dipped at approximately 20 percent.

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  The line graph
  

Hi Anna,

I can notice that your writing is getting better. Yet, some rooms for improvements still persists. I hope the detailed descriptions about your errors and corrections would help you.

1st paragraph:
- ... who recruited new English teachers and new French teachers based on year graduationtheir graduation years in Ontario from 2001 to 2007.
- Overall, it is noticeable that/it can be seen that,(addressing the overview is essential) there was a slight increase ...
- Meanwhile, English teachers gotexperienced/saw/witnessed a downward trend in generallygeneral .
- Eventually, the r ecruitment of French educators is larger than English teachersduringin the end of the period.

2nd paragraph:
- Based on graph,(Mentioning "based on..." would be redundant.
... information given MUST be based on the line graph)To begin with, the number of French language teachers recruitment that graduated in 2001 stood at roughly/approximately/nearly 70 percent of recruiting.(I gave you some alternative word replacements)

- .... fell to around 50a half . (If you intend to mention percentage without mentioning "percent/percent symbol", you can just do like what I've done. Read the book again for the complete variations of percent)

There you have it Anna, good luck for the next practice :)

Hello Anna!
Allow me to give you some suggestion.

Overall, there was a slight increase increased in the recruitment ...
However,people graduation year from 2003 ...
However, it rocketed at about 80 percent later.
You may use another similar word -> on the other hand, nonetheless

... teacher was dramatic decreased between graduation years ...
You may use, " decreased between graduation years from 2001 by 70 to 2003 by 40 percent

Keep practice to make it perfect :)