In the past, most people lived in small villages where everyone knew everyone else. Nowadays, most people live in large cities where they only know a few people in their area.
What do you think were the advantages and disadvantages of living in a small community.
In the past, people lived in small villages where they knew together. I think there were some advantages and disadvantages of living in a small community.
I realize that living in a small village had some advantages and disadvantages. First, people who lived in small areas were not lonely. Everyone always talked together. It made they feel cozy. Second, people also helped some villagers. Whenever, anyone had difficulties they often were given the villagers' hands. Indeed, life in small areas always love, help. Third, people in the same villages cared together from life, jobs to health. They were happy when their neighbors' children reached good results of learning and they were sad when their neighbors' health became worse. In order hand, people in the same villages always shared, sympathy each other. They thought that they were living in the same roof.
However, I think there were also some disadvantages of living in a small community. First, people usually minded when everyone noted their activities. They seemed not to have private space and they had to suffer noise, arguments from talkative people. In my view, the worst problem was that people could injury together by attending so much to other's private life.
In short, I like living in a small community more. People could share and help everything. Life became simple but meaningful. That was the best thing that everybody wanted to get.
Hi Ngoc Le
Here are my suggestions :
In the past, people lived in small villages where they knewgrew together.
I think there were some advantages and disadvantages of living in a small community.
I realize that living in a small village had some advantages and disadvantages
(Do not repeat the sentences here. Also instead of starting paragraph with I realize you can start by saying: In my opinion or straight away: Small villages had ...
Also, for the essay practice, you can elaborate it more. You have made only one paragraph here with no explanation as such. Try to write them in paragraphs with examples and your experiences. For example: in first stanza, you can mention about being together with examples and explanation. Second paragraph you can tell about jobs, work and all.
Merry xmas :)
Thank you so much
Le, your opening statement does not function in the manner that it is supposed to within the essay. The opening statement should give the reader a summary of the prompt, along with the two sides your are expected to discuss, with a reference to your opinion at the end of it. I do not see any of that represented in this opening statement. As such, the way you developed the paragraph doesn't really work in terms of introducing your ability to think, paraphrase, and create a logical foundation for a discussion within your essay. It did not strengthen the succeeding paragraphs of the essay, it weakened it. The introduction is one of the most important considerations when grading the paper, so make sure to utilize it properly. It could spell a higher, or failing score in the end.
Your discussion paragraphs need to be better justified and discussed. There is a sense of urgency int he way you discussed the paragraphs. Almost as if you were watching the clock more than concentrating on the development of the essay. If you keep watching the clock, you will end up with this kind of essay during the actual test. An essay that has the potential to be very good, but ends up becoming very bad because the writer was distracted while developing the discussion.
