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Essay: Smokers can cause themselves serious health problems.


dhammika1973 8 / 18  
Jun 1, 2011   #1
Topic: Smokers can cause themselves serious health problems. The choice to made freely and with knowledge of danger. Smokers should therefore, expect to pay more for medical treatment than non-smokers. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Any person has the choice of being smoker or not. But, smoking is harmful for our health and may cause to damage themselves. Due to this smoking habit it may cause mainly respiratory problems and heart problems. This effects of smoking is educating through the media such as television, news papers, magazines etc., Hence, people who are involving this habit is already know about this danger, but they still enjoying with their habit. However, I do not entirely agree that these people should have to pay more to receive all the medial treatment they need.

There are some situations, that do not have any relationship between the smoking habit. Then I believe that smokers should not be required to pay more than the non-smokers for their medical treatments. Car accident as a example, have no any connection with smoking, but people who injured from these type accidents may cause to serious injuries, also they might spend lots of money for recovery. Viral infections, another good example, any infected person needs to get the treatments and it is do not consider this infected person is smoker or not also the treatment charges are also same for both types.

On the other hand, any smoker may have high possibility to take a treatment, which may cause to his smoking habit. These treatments need to pay lots of money than the non-smokers, because most of the cases of smokers are carcinoma cases. This is very harmful and have high possibility for death. They may have to suffer during their life time due to this smoking habit. Therefore, smoker have the responsibility for what he/her has been doing.

In conclusion, I believe smoking persons should pay more in cases related to smoking, but in other cases they have to pay same as the others.

yoyolo 5 / 13  
Jun 2, 2011   #2
Hello Dhammika,

I bet this is a IELTS essay and as a experienced IELTS student here are some suggestions:

1. Your first para is too long. Normally, we only need 2-3 sentences, which is the summary of your general opinion. However, your first para seems like a supporting idea.

2. Compared to your introduction, it is always better to write at least two sentences for the conclusion para.

3. The topic sentense of each para sometimes is a bit confusing. I am not a native speaker, BUT I am sure that you need to work on it.

Good luck to your IELTS.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,335 129  
Jun 2, 2011   #3
But smoking is harmful for our health and may cause to damage to the lungs.

Due to this smoking habit, one might suffer respiratory problems and heart problems.

This The effects of smoking are being explained through education and the media, such as television, newspapers, magazines etc.

Hence, people who are involved with this habit already know about this danger, but they still enjoying their habit.
'
medial medical treatment they need.

There are some situations that involve illness which does not have any relationship to the smoking habit.

A car accident as a example, because it has no connection with smoking, but people who injured from these type accidents may incur serious injuries. Also, they might spend lots of money for treatment.

Viral infections are another good example; any infected person needs to get treatment, and it is not important to consider whether this infected person is smoker or not. Also, the treatment procedures are same regardless of whether someone smokes or not.

This is very harmful and creates a high possibility of death.

:-)


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