In some countries it is now illegal to smoke in public places. It is only fair that people who wish to smoke should have to leave the building. Do you agree or disagree?
There is no doubt that smoking in the public is such a disturbing activity for other people. I firmly agree that smokers should find other places to smoke since this is a respective behavior and it would reduce the risk of people to suffer smoke-related disease.
The smokers should have the big awareness when they intend to smoke since the smoke of their cigarette upset other people. They get to realize that in the public, everybody has the same right to do what they wish. It is obviously seen in the crowd place, when a smokers start to smoke, other people around them start to stay away or close their nose because of the uncomfortable feeling caused by the smokers. The respective behavior to leave the building for the smokers who will flame their cigarette is really needed to help their surrounding breath freely.
Another reason why the smokers should be banned to smoke in the crowd place as to help inhabitant keep fit without suffering any disease related to the smoke such as lung cancer and asthma. The bad effects of cigarette smoke not only harm the active smokers, but also the passive smokers. In addition, people who already suffer lung cancer or asthma make their disease getting worse when the smokers smoke in the same building with them. The diseases affected by the smoke is one of the worrying effects felt by the citizen, hence the smokers should help to reduce the gradual affect by smoking in the right smoking area.
In conclusion, I am completely support in letting the smokers find another place to smoke since it is surely a kind of respective manners towards passive smokers and a risk to suffer smoke related disease will be decreased.
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Russel, I am not sure what you mean by the constant use of the word "respective". It does not fit in the overall context of the sentence / paragraph. What exactly are you trying to say? Do you mean that smokers should "respect" non-smokers? If you mean that, then change the word to "respectful" or "respect" depending how you need to use it in the sentence. Those sentences need to be improved in order to clarify your meaning or reasoning. Your conclusion needs to be better developed. It cannot be just a single, long closing sentence. You will lose points for that. Look at the samples here in order for you to get an idea as to how to better conclude your essay.
Overall though, you have shown that you understand the prompt and are capable of offering an insightful discussion, based on facts, regarding the topic presented. The proof of your comprehension skills, regardless of the problem with the grammar is sure to earn you some consideration on the part of the examiner when it comes to your final score.
I believe that it is fair that people who wish to smoke should have to leave the building.