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Smoking ban in all public places - persuasive essay

bonechills 6 / 3  
May 21, 2008   #1
Hello Gloria,

First I would like to thank youfor encouraging me and helping me with my paper.

My next assignment is to write a persuasive essay. I have never written one before and I'm lost. Could you please help me?

It has to be 5 paragraphs and organized like


a. First main point
1. Supporting evidence and explanation (one of the details must be related to my own experience or those of close family members and friends
2. Supporting evidence and explanation
3. Opposing claim to this point
4. Supporting evidence refuting that opposing claim and explanation

This is the question:
Most businesses now say that no one can smoke cigarettes in any of their offices. Many local governments have banned smoking in all public places.

My position is I agree with the banes.

This is what I have written so far; please do not worry about grammar or mechanics. I am trying to see if I am going in the right direction.

I know you probably thought that I was not coming back, but I had a very busy week.

Here is my persuasive essay. Is it persuasive? Is there a point that does not make sense or is not persuasive? How does it flow?

I'm still working on the opening line, trying to get the reader engaged.

I'm still a little unsure how to introduce my topics and then restate them in the end.

Thank you so much for reading my essay again.

Watching people smoking disgusts me. It seems as though every time I go to the grocery store, gas station or a restaurant there is either a customer or an employee smoking outside the door. That is why I strongly support the local governments ban on no smoking in public places. Moreover, most private business are banning smoking in their office buildings, however, some business' still allow smoking inside their buildings, which is where some problems can begin. Also some people will do anything to avoid second hand smoke because they know the affects that it can have on their health. Never again would I like to see people smoking in public.

Second hand smoke is very harmful to non-smokers. As a non-smoker I am very aware of people smoking around me. I know that every time I am breathing in second hand smoke, it is damaging my lungs. However, infrequent exposure to smoke will not lead to death but I have noticed an increase in people smoking and I am concerned about the amount of smoke I am exposed to. Second hand smoke affects everyone differently and our family experienced it while bowling. The bowling alley we went to had a section for smokers and a section for non-smokers. As every member of my family is a non-smoker, we used the bowling lanes in the no smoking area. The problem being, there was no separation between the smoking section and the no smoking section. Therefore the smoke drifted into our area, and began affecting my brother. It caused him to get a severe headache, which ruined our family night. This is why I support the ban against smoking. I feel that we should be able to have an enjoyable family night without worrying about people smoking. However, people that smoke argue that this is a free country and they should have a right to smoke anywhere they please. I strongly believe that as a free country we all should have the right to do anything we like, as long as it will not damage or affect someone else's life.

Smoking is a bad habit that young people model. The more young people are exposed to smoking the better the chance of them becoming smokers themselves, which is why young people should be discouraged from smoking. If they begin smoking when they are young, it could lead them to other addictive and harmful drugs. This is another reason I feel the need to ban smoking in all public places. My friend Tim was only sixteen when he began smoking. Why did he begin smoking? It was not as if he awoke one morning and decided that that was the day he would began smoking, but it was the constant exposure of seeing people smoking. Tim worked at AUTOBELL, and as customers waited for their vehicles to be washed and dried, they would have a smoke. After seeing people smoking he decided to try smoking a cigarette. A few days later he was smoking about a half pack a day, but then he got addicted and was smoking a pack or more a day. The worst part was when he was trying to quit. Even know he no longer worked for AUTOBELL, people were still smoking in front of the stores that he would shop at. Most smokers think that smoking is not influencing younger people. But younger people like to act as if they are grown up, and when they see adults smoke they want to emulate them. Smoking is a very bad habit to form and with a ban on smoking in public places, young people will not be exposed as often.

There have been entire office buildings that have burned to the ground because people were smoking inside. It is very encouraging to hear that more companies have banned smoking and I hope that more will follow. Without cigarette smoke inside the buildings, they are more inviting for non-smokers and safer for everyone. My dad used to own an awning company called "Awnings Only". One of his employers sewed the canvas for the awnings. When she first began working for my dad she was allowed to smoke as she worked but after a few, very minor accidents she was asked to stop smoking. Even though she only burned a few small holes in the canvas tops, my dad realized there could have been far greater damage done. Without smoking she was more concentrated on her work and made a better product. My dad later decided to put up signs that read 'Do Not Smoke" so if he hired another employee and forgot to tell them that smoking was not aloud, at least they could read the signs. She said that at her previous employment she was allowed to smoke anywhere in the building and even while she sewed the canvas. My dad made it clear to her that it was costing him money because of her carelessness. After my dad made a no smoking rule and put signs up he did not have any more problems with smoking in the building.

I am against all smoking in public places. Second hand smoke is the worst, and we, as non-smokers should not have to suffer any more. Smokers should finally pay the consequence by not being allowed to smoke in public at all. Every office owner should have to ban smoking inside his or her offices once and for all.
EF_Team5 - / 1,586  
May 21, 2008   #2
Good afternoon!

I'm glad you're back! You are very welcome for the help, I'm glad it makes a difference!

Persuasive essays (I think) are a lot of fun because you really get a chance to shine as a writer, more so than in analytical essays where the stuffiness of academics can get in the way of your writing style.

Let's see what we've got here!

This is a good rough draft! I can easily pick out your main topic (that you support smoking bans), your first supporting detail (that second hand smoke is dangerous to non-smokers-you support this with your personal story about your brother, fulfilling the personalization requirement) your second supporting detail, that smoking is a bad behavior that young children model, perhaps leading them to other drug abuse, and your third supporting detail (the damage your dad's employee caused to his product, again relating to your life fulfilling the personalization requirement).

I absolutely think you're on the right track! I can't wait for you to post the rest!

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