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Smoking not only harms the smoker, but also those who are nearby.


rasam11 3 / 1 9  
Nov 25, 2016   #1
Smoking not only harms the smoker, but also those who are nearby. Therefore, smoking should be banned in public places.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?


Smoking is considered to be an insidious killer. It has great detrimental effects on both smokers and non-smokers. As such, certain individuals believe that smoking should be banned in public settings. I believe that smoking has harmful effects, so it should be prohibited.

There are numerous reasons that bolster the notion that smoking should be banned in public places. Firstly, it triggers an uncomfortable situation such as a loathsome smelling to individuals who set nearby smokers. Public areas are seen as a perfect place to people gather and entertain their leisure time and breathe pure air. Another reason, it causes chronic diseases such as cancer. Non-smokers are more likely to be infected by cancer when they seat beside smokers. It has negative effects on human's health. Third reason, in public areas, smokers frequently throws their lit cigarettes in different areas and do not concentrate what will occur. Lighted cigarettes usually pose fires. In the aftermath of fires, public places will be destroyed by fires. As result, they prevent people to assemble in these settings. Smoking should be prohibited because it has adverse impacts on non-smokers.

However, Opponents of such a ban argue against it for several reasons. Firstly, each individual has a freedom to seat or carry out favorite activities in public areas. Therefore, smokers have a right to smoke tobacco in such settings. Non-smokers do not require to seat around smokers. Consequently, they do not disturb non-smokers. Second reason, exposing to smoking for a short period of time has no side effects on non-smokers. As such, non-smokers have the ability to conduct various activities with smokers in public places.

In conclusion, smoking has disgusted smelling and cause harmful consequences to healthy individuals, so it should be banned.

akbarmappiare 31 / 469 275  
Nov 26, 2016   #2
Hi Rasam..
I have read your essay and have willing to give you a few suggestions. In this moment, I focus on your contents in this writing.


Actually, I am pleased to read your introduction because you successfully paraphrase the statement by using your own sentences. You might only need understanding about use of linking words.

As such, certain individuals

You rewrite to become HENCE, CERTAIN INDIVIDUALS...
Besides that, you can get a higher score on condition that you mentioned negative effects what you showed in the thesis statement. It will help readers to imagine what you explain in the body paragraph.

Public areas are seen as a perfect place

Public areas should be seen as....
(make sure what you write is what you want to say.)

It has negative effects on human's health

It should be replaced by the scientific fact or your personal experience to support your view previously.

Lighted cigarettes usually pose fires. In the aftermath of fires, public places will be destroyed by fires.

This seemed as layman's opinion because you did not elucidate with the logic flow. It is not enough strong to be the effect of smoking in the public areas.

When I turned to your second body paragraph, I was surprised because you actually explained reasons why some people disagree. I reckoned you would show your agreement firmly. In the next term, you are supposed to show disagreement opinion in the thesis statement to display clearly that you will review two views in the body paragraph.

Please, review my notes to improve your skill in the next essay.
Keep writing
GOOD LUCK
nda18 46 / 81 9  
Nov 26, 2016   #3
Hi rasam, these are my thought towards your essay

firstly, you have a good essay and good paraphrase too.
however, there are several alternative sentence that i believe will make your essay better

Public areas are seen as a perfect ...
[Public areas should be seen as a perfect place for people to gather and entertain their leisure time and also to breathe pure air.]

... chronic diseases such as cancerdue to the fact that Non-smokers are more likely to ...
[ i think it would be better if you use a linking word between this sentences ]

Third reason, in public areas, smokersfrequently throws their lit
... do not concentrate ON what will occur.

the major issue of your essay is : your essay lack of example ( it could be scientific example or your own experiences)

thank you


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