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Social network usage has caused a variety of contradictory effects on the whole community

chubbyngo07 1 / -  
Aug 6, 2018   #1
Hi guys. Im about to take the test this August and I hope you can help me with this essay.

social networking sites are harmful?

Topic: Some people think that social networking sites have a huge negative impact on both individual and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is a spreading belief that using social network has caused a variety of contradictory effects on the whole community. I firmly believe in the truth of this assertion and this essay tackles the most important reasons why.

First and foremost, there is a high chance that individuals who intend to defraud the society can create a fake identity in order to attract naive victims. Without vigilance, children may be put into fatal situations. As an evidence of this, there have been many reports about young ladies who get kidnapped by men pretending to be trust worthy online. Not only do they put efforts to get the attention of ignorant girls but they also ask to meet them and then abduct them. Although this scenario has been a growing concern for parents, the case still seems to be inevitable.

Furthermore, the prevalence of being addicted to networking sites has become a huge issue since they provide a diversity of up - dated news and an appealing opportunity to connect globally. Therefore, it can be a waste of time if the community isn't aware of how time - consuming and detrimental these sites can be. For instance, many students using Facebook or Twitter too frequently may experience a decrease in their grades due to the lack of studying time.

Granted it is also true that social networking sites have widened knowledge and strengthened our relations, which allows us to make friends with anyone no matter what their nations are. Still, I would like to emphasize that without careful deliberation, this tool can precipitate a lot of troubles and be a waste of time.

In short, although social networking sites have brought about a lot of benefits, their negative influence to the individuals as well as the whole community is more worth - noticing.

smally01 9 / 34 14  
Aug 6, 2018   #2
Hi chubbyngo07, hope that I can help.

In short, if you are on the disagree side, I believe you need not to put any statement that to show its advantage... the existence of the 4th paragraph seems aim to make your essay to meet the 250 words limit.

Re the introduction, seems you only mentioning the negative impacts it brings to the community/society but skip those to the individual...
zahranatsir 5 / 6 3  
Aug 7, 2018   #3
Hi chubby!
Here's my advises related to your writing.

1. This statement of your essay seems to indicate that you made an essay which is the disadvantage outweigh disadvantages.

Granted it is also true that... Still, I would like to ...

Moreover, in agree-disagree essay, we only discuss the reason why we agree/diasgree with the given statement.

2. Conclusion should be consists of restates the thesis statement and your opinion.

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