In the era of internet ages, accessing internet become a major part of daily life. This high rate of usage has been brought a especial concern among youngsters, especially on the use of social networking site. Some parent contend that the social networking site reduce the human communication. Therefore we should confine children using it. However, some assert that social networking site is a new form of communication and we should further promote it. While I acknowledge both side of compelling arguments, I believe that the benefit of social networking site is far outweighed than the disadvantages and this essay will discusses two main advantages.
For starter, this is the social networking site that parent can have better understanding to their children. In many metropolises, both father and mother need to work. They do not have enough time to chat with their children. Social networking site become a good mean for these kind of parents. One of the powerful tools on these site are to allow user to leave their message, photo and even video on internet and this function is very prevalent among youngsters. Parent can make used of it to understand their children by reading through their update on the site. In this sense, these kind of sites provide parent a great way to understand their children.
On the contrary to the reduction of human communication, social networking site actually do improve it between different people. In my country, it is very common that family send their children studying oversea. Around ten years ago, the parent can only talk to their children through phone call and parent cannot visually see their children. Social networking site addresses the problem by providing real time visual communication. This functions allow parent to cross the territory boundary and allow parent talking with their children freely.
As discussed above, social networking site not only provide parent a way to communicate with their children, but also allow them to understand their children more. I believe we should further advocate these kind of sites rather than confine it.
Larry, welcome to the team :)
1st paragraph
- ...accessing internet becomebecomes a major part of daily life.
- This high rate of Internet usage has been brought a especialspecial concern among youngsters, especially on the use of social networking site.
- Some parentparents contend that the social networking site reducereduces the human communication.
- Therefore, (comma needed) we should...
- However, some people assert that social networking site is a new form of communication and we should further promote it further .
- While I acknowledge both sides of compelling arguments, I believe that the benefitS of social networking site isare far outweighed than the disadvantages, and this essay will discusses two main advantages. (be careful in making a long-but-inaccurate sentence. It is suggested to make a sentence structure that is not that complicated in order to avoid inaccuracies)
As I can see from your last sentence in introduction paragraph, you've mentioned "two advantages", but in fact you've also mentioned some disadvantages. Therefore, you need to be careful in writing an outline. The reader were expecting only two advantages presented, but then you came up with additional unnecessary information. However, I think that for the next practice you need to write clearly what is or what are the questions in order to make us easy to read and check it. This essay I think it is still ambiguous due to two possibilities i.e. whether advantages-disadvantages essay or the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Those are quite similar but different. I hope to see any improvements in the next writing practice, mind the corrections given and be more careful about spelling and grammatical errors. Good luck :)
Hi Larry, to continue with the corrections, I am taking the next paragraph. I hope you find it helpful.
- For starters ,
- this is the social networking sites help parents to
- that parent can have better understanding toof their children.
- In many metropolisesmetropolis ,
- becomes a good meancommunication medium for these kind of parents.
- on the internet and
- used of it to understand their children
- thesethis kinds of sites
- provide parents a great
- way to understandlength to bridge the gap between the loss time with their children.
There you have it Larry, the essay is written fairly well, however, it can still be enhanced and one way of modifying it is to know exactly which form of the word or the tense either plural or singular form is to be used in the sentence. I should be able to get back to you for the rest of the essay.
Hi Larry, please find further assistance below;
- actually do improve itcommunication between different people.
- children studyingto study overseas .
- Around ten years ago, the parents can
- through a phone
- call and parents cannot
- parent s to cross the
- parents to talk totalking with their children freely.
- As discussed above , social networking
- sites does not only provide
- parents a way to communicate
There you go Larry, this is the final group of corrections for your essay and I hope this brings your essay to the next level, make it more meaningful and more credible for your submission. I must say, I agree with your opinion on social media or social network as part of bridging the gap between kids and their parents, however, as they say, think before you click, because once you click it on the internet, it will forever be in the storage data of the world wide web and if its a bad insight, consequences will be fatal and of course if it's good, it is rewarding.
Thanks for your guidance! I will take care of my careless mistakes on both spelling and grammatical error
