IELTS; In our society child's education have never been a simple task

topic: some people think that parents should teach children how to be a good member of society. other, however, believe that school is place to learn this.discuss both these view and give your opinion.

In our society child's education have never been a simple task. Some people argue that, children should be taught to be a value member in their community by their parents. While, others claim school should be taken responsibility for this issue.

Family is the first school in which children learn moral criteria. The children are significantly impacted by surrounding milieu, especially in early period of their life. In order to be a good citizen each individuals has to respect and abiding rules in their community. Therefore, the parents play a key role to teach their children the way to respect and obey rules. Besides that, sharing responsibility is expected as a duty of the good members in the society, thus children need parents to be educated about their behaviors to their community where they are living. From this view, home is vital part contributing to shape a value citizen.

On the other hand, the children will attend to school to accumulate social skills and academic knowledge as well. At the school, those who have more chance to connect to other people such as peers and their teachers who teach them a number of vital skills for instance: communication skill, and team work. Besides that, the academic knowledge is obtained from there that will help children to have stable initial steps for their future. In this way, school is definitely significant part in children life.

In conclusion, I am believed that family and the school have considerable role in shaping children's characteristics in various ways. Combination in education between the family and the school is the best way to have the good citizens for a prospective community

.... this has a fundamental error.... children is plural and "a valuable member" (note - it is "valuable" member and not "value member") refers to singular form.

children should be taught to be respectable members in their society by their parents . .... Also, I like if you use direct speech which is more powerful in conveying this idea;

Parents should teach their children to be respectable members in society.
Also, it is good if you stated your opinion in the introduction itself so that you can take your examiner easily in your desired direction.



each individual / all individuals

I think your essay is good

because this is discuss essay, so i think that my opinion is not importan in the introduction paragrap, we just need to analyse the issue on two of views and give opinion in the conclusion paragraph of the essay.

thanks a lot dumi!

-> has never been


-> school should take the responsibility


-> It's not a complete sentence.
-> At school, those who are eager to connect with other people such as their peers and teachers will be more likely to attain a number of vital skills, for instance, communication skill and teamwork.


-> You can use "In addition" or "Furthermore" instead of "Besides that" that you did use once on the first body paragraph.

-> In addition, academic knowledge obtained from schools will establish a firm basis for children's future.


-> a significant part in children's life


-> I believe that

Dumi has said everything. Good job dude.

Family members are the first from whom children learn moral values and its importance.


In order to be a good citizen each individual has to respect and abide the rules in its community.



I believe that....

never need comma


Some people argue that, children should be taught to be avaluevaluablemembemembers in their community by their parents


others claim that


specially in early their own ages


each individual has to


besides (that )