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Society of Notes...revision and comments


jangoc44 3 / 4  
Oct 26, 2008   #1
Last essay, I swear! I'm glad I found this site though, as it's been an invaluable resource. I'm thinking about using this for my commonapp essay, but as it was my first ever college application essay, transition from the normal formalities of a research essay to personal writing style was hard. It's already gone through a lot of revisions, so a few more wouldn't hurt.

Also, would a topic like this be kind of weird for commonapp if I'm mainly applying for engineering/math schools? Would taking the MIT essay and using that in lieu of this be a better alternative, since it doesn't focus on fine arts as much? It's not like I don't excel at music, but it's secondary for me compared to engineering and math. And I'm assuming it's still Gloria, but if you don't know what my other essay was about, it was about how the world I come from was filled with change and ultimately led to my versatility.

Society of Notes

My fingers dance over the tungsten-wound steel strings. Major fifths resonate out into the audience. Whether it's a plastic guitar or a violoncello, I play for myself and everyone out there. The audience doesn't notice the individual notes as they fly by their heads; the music as a whole is what piques their interest. But I can feel their presence, a myriad of pitches swirling into a tune.

Notes and music are like people in this world. Sometimes companies are ignorant of the individuals and only pay attention to results. That is not the way to run society; we must respect each and every person and mold them into their place in society-that is how to maximize performance and results. Similarly, before a piece is performed, each note is painstakingly identified and learned by the performers. Even in a dissonant tune, a wrong note can jeopardize the whole song. Each note is important, and every aspect of the note must be honed to its best-its dynamics, tone, and sound. People are no different.

We each have our own strengths, our weaknesses. Personalities can vary so much, yet we are still part of the music. Music still manages to bind us together, organize us and create works of art. What college we go to is just like what genre of songs one likes; a college might excel in the creation of rap songs, another classic rock. Composers have absolute power to select the notes to be in their songs, but we as notes of the society have the privilege to choose; the decision allow us to branch out and add another layer of depth to our simple pitch.

However, I refuse to leave my opportunity to be part of my favorite song up to chance. Though I am just one note, I am able to become better, improving my tonal quality, acquiring different dynamics and pitches. Through experience, I mature as a note; my successful schoolwork up to now shows potential and a glimpse into the future. As I refine myself, I increase the likelihood to be part of a process that produces harmony from cacophony. I don't want to be any old background note; I strive to be part of the solo. Winning state math contests adds a brighter vibrato; playing soccer gives a deeper, more resonant tone quality. As I form and build upon my own note, I branch out from the mainstream community and pursue the ideal note that rings in my head. College will finalize what I started long ago, adding the finishing touches to my personal note.

In the concert hall that is society, we are all notes waiting to be incorporated into a song. Through college we become refined and worked into songs to be performed to the audience. Institutes arrange our notes: some changed, some thrown out. In the end, however, we are just notes. A singular note isn't going to cut it here; maybe in your high school recitals, but not in a college performance. We have to work together, let the music flow, and give the best performance we can. That doesn't mean one note couldn't stand out more than others in the song. The high note on the scale, the accidentals; all these represent the successful individuals who deserve the attention. Following in their footsteps, I will keep climbing up the fingerboard, striving for the apex of the never-ending scale.


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