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IELTS Writing Task 1 : Solar Energy for Water Heating and Panels Location


santrinabawi 2 / 2 1  
Dec 15, 2019   #1

solar powered heating system



The diagram presents process of solar energy water heating system and location options to put solar panels.

Overall, the heating system begin to run by turning on the controller until when water fall to water tank, it ready to use. On the other hand, there are two options where to put solar panels.

Firstly, trun on the controller. Cold water that enter the water tank will be pumped with thermal fluid to solar panels that is used to collect solar energy. The water that pass the panels will be heated and fall to heating coil inside water tank. Hot water ready to use with open the taps or showers.

Secondly, ideal position to put solar panels is angle to sun 90°, south facing, and should not be obstructed by trees. By put solar panels on the land, they are not only easy to cleaning and maintenance, but they are also easy to obstruct. In contrast, by put solar panels above the roof, they show the reverse.




King heart 1 / 1  
Dec 15, 2019   #2
Hello Good Night sir...
.
I'm Try your classmate..
.
He we go...

Just the only suggestion that I give to you!!
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First of all, from the grammar mistake you have!
*do not forget your article the process
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*Missing S on the subject-verb agreement - should be beginS
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*Spelling trun change becoming turn
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*Cold water <===> without space Coldwater
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*pass<===> use passing or passes because the subject is water should be plural
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* by putting
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#This just a few suggestion that I guess it...
#Thank you very much and have a nice day 😊
Maria - / 1,099 389  
Dec 17, 2019   #3
@santrinabawi
Thanks for coming to the site. Hopefully, this feedback gives you an idea on how you can improve your writing!

You need to be extra cautious when you are composing your sentences. There are areas wherein you appear to be a tad bit incomprehensible. For instance, in the first part of your discussion of the sentence composition, the flow of writing needs to be worked on. What I suggest is being extra cautious in terms of consistency of tenses for when you are writing. For instance, take a look at how I will correct this sentence: The water that pass the panels will be heated, eventually falling to the heating coil inside the water tank. and fall to heating coil inside water tank. Notice how I changed it to appear as though it's a more streamlined process. Read up again on the proper usage of tenses to help you with this.

I noticed the same issue with your last sentence. You should have said that you are putting solar panels on the land, not put solar panels. The direction of the writing is towards present participle - be cautious of this.
irsaqisthi 3 / 6 5  
Dec 22, 2019   #4
Hi Mr. Bilal,
Thank you for providing me with insightful advices related to IELTS writing task 1. In return, I would like to give you some feedback as well, hoping that it will help you improve your writing.

... the (1) process of ... and location options possible locations (2) to ...

In my opinion, you already wrote a good, concise introduction. However, you still need to pay a close attention to the article usage (1) and paraphrase the words (2).

Overall, the heating system begins (1) to run ... until when (2) water falls (3) to water the (4) tank, it (5) ready to use (6) for daily use. ... where to put solar panels the solar panels can be installed (6).

Based on my observation, you may need to be more careful when it comes to subject verb agreement as you made several grammatical errors as seen in number (1) and (3). Besides, you should omit several words, like number (2) and (4) to write the essay more succinctly. I suggest you to carve out some time to check whether or not your word choice is approriate, for example: "ready to use" can be changed into "ready for daily use" (5). Also, when using an adjective clause, you need to follow it with subject and verb. In this case, I give you a correction using passive voice to widen the grammatical range.


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