This is my essay!! Pls comment if I made any mistakes!! :)
Solar System means "system of the Sun". There are 9 planets in our solar system(including Pluto). These 9 planets orbit the sun meaning the take a specific amount of time to travel around the Sun once. These 9 planets are Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune and Pluto. Mercury is the first planet from the Sun. It has a diameter of 3,029 miles(4,878 kilometres). Venus is the second planet from the Sun and has a diameter of 7,515 miles(12,102 kilometres). One day on Venus lasts 243 Earth days. Earth is the third planet from the Sun. It has a diameter of 7,921 miles(12,756 kilometres) and has 1 moon orbiting around it. Mars is the fourth planet form the Sun. It has a diameter of 4,218 miles(6,792 kilometres) and has 2 moons orbiting around it. Jupiter is the fifth planet from the Sun and has a diameter of 88,793 miles(142,984 kilometres) and has at least 16 moons orbiting around it.Jupiter is known as a gas giant. Saturn is the sixth planet from the Sun and has a diameter of 74,853 miles(120,536 kilometres) and has at least 18 moons orbiting around it. Saturn is also a gas giant and has rings of dust, gas and ice encircling it. Uranus is the seventh planet from the Sun and has a diameter of 31,744 miles(51,118 kilometres) and has 17 moons orbiting around it. Neptune is the eighth planet from the Sun and has a diameter of 30,757 miles(49,528 kilometres) and has 8 moons orbiting around it. Pluto is the last planet from the Sun and has a diameter of 1, 430 miles( 2,300 kilometres) and has 1 moon orbiting it. Scientists and other people argue that Pluto is not a planet because it is too far away from the Sun and orbits the Sun in the opposite direction than how other planets orbit the Sun. The Sun is a big star that is really hot. The Scientist Galileo looked at the Sun for too long through a telescope and became blind. The Sun is so hot that if you come closer to it, you will disintegrate in fractions of a second. There are other stars in the Universe that are ten times bigger than our Sun.
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Solar System means "system of the Sun". There are 9 planets in our solar system(inclusive of Pluto).These 9 planets are Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune and Pluto. These 9 planets orbit the sun, meaning they take a specific amount of time to travel around the Sun once. Mercury is the first planet from the Sun. It has a diameter of 3,029 miles(4,878 kilometres). Venus is the second planet from the Sun and has a diameter of 7,515 miles(12,102 kilometres). One day on Venus lasts 243 Earth days. Earth is the third planet from the Sun. It has a diameter of 7,921 miles(12,756 kilometres) and has 1 moon orbiting around it. Mars is the fourth planet form the Sun. It has a diameter of 4,218 miles(6,792 kilometres) and has 2 moons orbiting around it. Jupiter is the fifth planet from the Sun and has a diameter of 88,793 miles(142,984 kilometres) and has at least 16 moons orbiting around it.Jupiter is known as a gas giant. Saturn is the sixth planet from the Sun and has a diameter of 74,853 miles(120,536 kilometres) and has at least 18 moons orbiting around it. Saturn is also a gas giant and has rings of dust, gas and ice encircling it. Uranus is the seventh planet from the Sun and has a diameter of 31,744 miles(51,118 kilometres) and has 17 moons orbiting around it. Neptune is the eighth planet from the Sun and has a diameter of 30,757 miles(49,528 kilometres) and has 8 moons orbiting around it. Pluto is the last planet from the Sun and has a diameter of 1, 430 miles( 2,300 kilometres) and has 1 moon orbiting it. Scientists and other people argue that Pluto is not a planet because it is too far away from the Sun and orbits the Sun in the opposite direction than how other planets orbit the Sun. The Sun is a big star that is really hot. The Scientist Galileo looked at the Sun for too long through a telescope and became blind. The Sun is so hot that if you come closer to it, you will disintegrate in fractions of a second. There are other stars in the Universe that are ten times bigger than our Sun.
did some corrections read it over
Timothy, you did not specify the purpose of your essay or may me I missed it so I can't really state if it's appropriate or not. It is very descriptive and I feel your sentences seems somewhat isolated and needs use of more connective phrases.
Thanks for your feedback, I will try to make the changes :)
Good luck
