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Solving the gap between rich and poor nations requires much effort from governments - IELTS


haisergeant 1 / 2 1  
Oct 1, 2013   #1
Topic:
The inequality between rich and poor nations is now wider than it has ever been before. What do you think are the main causes of this difference and what do you think can be done to reduce the gap?

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It is undeniable that the distance between wealthy and unwealthy countries is wider in recent years and it does not seem to be stopped. Not only war, famine, plague but also the way of development of the countries are the reasons of this matter. In this essay, I will take a closer look at the causes and propose some solutions to shorten this gap.

There are many reasons preventing the national development. Firstly, wars, internal conflicts cause high injury and destroy farms providing food for the nation. Not having enough food to eat, people are starving and plague will occur. Somalia and Nigeria are the typical examples. Having war in many decades, those countries do not have enough fund and labour force to develop their countries from scratch. Secondly, wrong policies of nation development are also the reason putting a country back from wealthy ones. For instance, many countries invest too much fund on farming and upgrading weapons instead of education and technology which are the most important factors helping nation to catch up with others.

It is very difficult to lower the gap between wealthy and unwealthy countries, but it is not impossible. First of all, nations should end their conflicts quickly so people can put their guns down and focus on production. Providing that people have enough food to eat, they will contribute to the national development. After that, authorities should pay attention to the personal development, such as education and technology, which are the keys to boost them in the future.

In conclusion, solving the gap between rich and poor nations requires much effort from governments. Developing countries can base on the help from rich countries; however, they should be careful because most of the helps are not free.

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I hope everyone could improve my essays on IELTS test, grammar, cohesion, idea, more formal,... My first target is band 7, my second target is band 8.

Thank you very much.

dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Oct 2, 2013   #2
It is undeniable that the distance between wealthy and unwealthy countries is wider in recent years and it does not seem to be stopped.

It is undeniable that the gap between wealthy and poor nations has become wider in recent years and also it does not seem to be stopping in near future.

In this essay, I will take a closer look at the causes and propose some solutions to shorten this gap.

This is not really necessary to state. It's implied and the reader anyway expects you to do that. In my view, it does not add any value to your essay.

There are many reasons preventing the national development.

There are many causes that prevent the development of a nation.
You have good writing skills... Good luck!
Pahan 1 / 1,907 553  
Oct 2, 2013   #3
It is very difficult to lower the gap between wealthy and unwealthy countries, but it is not impossible.

This is an interesting sentence .... good :)
First of all, nations should end their conflicts quickly so people can put their guns down and focus on productiondevelopment

Providing that people have enough food to eat, they will contribute to the national development.

This sentence disturbs the flow ... The previous sentences are very strong and factual. But this one does not stand up to that. I see it is not really powerful as an idea too.
OP haisergeant 1 / 2 1  
Oct 2, 2013   #4
Thanks dumi and Pahan when correct my essay very much.

About the sentence:
Providing that people have enough food to eat, they will contribute to the national development.

I think I should rephrease it to:
Only when people have peace and food to eat, they will contribute their strength, skills and competency to the national development.

This sentence will connect with previous idea (war, conflict). Is that sound ok?

Thanks again everyone.
gmad06 20 / 151 55  
Oct 2, 2013   #5
Hi,

You wrote a good essay, however I think you fail to completely respond to the task. You were suppose
to talk about how the gap between poor and rich nations expanded. Why the poor gets poorer and the rich
gets richer. Well you did talk about aspects how countries get poorer, but this is not sufficient enough to
satisfy the essay prompt.

hope this helps...


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