Across the word today, global warming, pollution and lacked fresh water's issues have been threatened on the existence and development of human civilization. Inevitably, we have to face with the issues if we want to keep our civilization existence and advance. In the other words, I want to present why produce sustainable electricity enough for usage is the most important thing in the word today.
Living in California, we know how important of fresh water is to sustain our agriculture, economic, industry, entitlement etc... but what if California have been continuing drought for next few years, we would be in big troubles. According to, Mr. Vuon Xuan Dien who has worked at Long Beach Department, and discovered the method uses less electricity and more effectively than the others to fin salt water to potable water. And he said if fresh water in California becomes more and more scarce then the Federal government would use this method to supply enough water for us. So, we can use electricity to fin the water without worry if we can produce enough the electricity that can bear our needs.
Also, the most worrying to our planet today is global warming. CO2 is the main cause which made the warming of our planet.CO2, which damages our ozone layer, comes from several source but the most CO2 in our planet today comes from burning fossil fuels and gasoline. Nevertheless, we can solve the problem or at least reduce the effect if we can produce enough sustainable electricity to replay burning fossil gasoline and gasoline. For example, we can use the electricity in industries instead burning coal or oil which produces too much CO2. Also, we would use all electricity cars or metro for our transport, and cover our country by the dense network of free charging stations to recharge our cars instead use gasoline to keep our cars on the roads.
Finally, most of the electricity in our word today is produce by burning fossil fuels and using nuclear power which are very dangerous and pollutant. According to EIA, in 2008, we have produced 2 billion pounds of CO2 by burning coal to producing electricity. The amount was too much so we need to stop using coal to produce electricity. Also, nuclear power is very dangerous and creates radioactive waste which is very dangerous and need hundred thousand years to decay. Nevertheless, the sustainable energy would stop the pollutant by burning fossil fuels and dangerous by using uncle power.
In conclusion, I believe that many our problems would be solved easily if we can find or produce enough sustainable energy for usage. We have been working on many projects in order to achieve our hope. For example, we build and use solar energy to produce electricity. In addition, we have worked on a giant project call the International Thermonuclear Reactor which can use fusion reaction which is completely safe and clean to production electricity for the whole word. In summary, we are hard working on a wide variety of projects and I hope in the near future we would make our dream becoming true.
- Across the word today, global warming, pollution and lackedlack of fresh water'swater issues have been threatened on the existence and development of human civilization. Inevitably, we have to face with the issues if we want to keep our civilization existence and advance. In the other words, I want to present why produce sustainable electricity enough for usage is the most important thing in the word today.I would like to bring to your attention why we have to produce electricity that will sustain the future.
- Nevertheless, the sustainable energy would stop the pollutant by burning fossil fuels and dangerous by using unclenuclear power.
- In conclusion, I believe that many of f our problems would be solved easily if we can find or produce enough sustainable energy for usage.
Vin, overall your essay is quiet rough, you seem to jump from one idea to the other. An essay should have a smooth flow, it should create a general idea towards the fulfillment of the topic and for your readers to engage to your article.
I have a few points to consider;
- punctuation marks, in an an essay do not use the period like this (...), this is not called for and stating etc. in your sentence should end in a period
- grammar and sentence construction
- word tenses, like if the action is an ongoing issue, use the present tense
- word usage, the use of big words is sometime do more harm than good in your essay, so keep it simple, use words that your readers will understand.
- Proof read and spell check, this two will help you a lot.
Cheers!!!
Here is the version 2 of my essay. Can you guys help me fix it .
Across the word today, global warming, pollution and lack of fresh water issues have been threatened on the existence and development of human civilization. Inevitably, we have to face with the issues if we want to keep our civilization existence and advance. I would like to bring your attention by three reasons why we have to produce enough sustainable electricity for usage is the most important thing in the word today.
The first reason is the electricity can be used to fin salt water to fresh water without worrying that we produce waste to environment. In fact, living in California where we know how important of fresh water is to sustain our agriculture, economic, industry, entertainment etc. But what if California has been continuing drought for next few years then we would be in big troubles. According to, Mr. Vuon Xuan Dien who has worked at Long Beach Department , and discovered the method uses less electricity and more effectively than the others to fin salt water to potable water. And he said if fresh water in California becomes more and more scarce then Federal government would use this method to supply enough water for us. So, we can use electricity to fin the water without the worrying if we can produce enough the electricity that can bear our needs.
The second reason is the electricity can be used to cease global warming. According to EPA, Carbon dioxide (CO2) is the main cause which makes the warming of our planet.CO2, which damages our ozone layer, comes from several source but the most CO2 in our planet today comes from burning fossil fuels and gasoline. Nevertheless, we can solve the problem or at least reduce the effect if we can produce enough sustainable electricity to replay burning fossil gasoline and gasoline. For example, we can use the electricity in industries instead burning coal or oil which produces too much CO2. Also, we would use all electricity cars or metro for our transport, and cover our country by the dense network of free charging stations to recharge our cars instead use gasoline to keep our cars on the roads.
The third reason is the electricity can be used to supply for our needs instead of burning fossil fuels and using nuclear power which are very dangerous and pollutant. According to EIA, to producing electricity, we pollute our environment by burning fossil fuels which is release approximately three billion pounds of CO2 in 2008. Threateningly, nuclear power is very dangerous and creates radioactive waste which is very dangerous and need hundred thousand years to decay. Nevertheless, the electricity would replace the process which we use fossil fuels and nuclear power to produce electricity.
In conclusion, I believe that many our problems would be solved easily if we can find or produce enough sustainable energy for usage. We have been working on many projects in order to achieve our hope. For example, we build and use solar energy to produce electricity. In addition, we have worked on a giant project call the International Thermonuclear Reactor which can use fusion reaction which is completely safe and clean to production electricity for the whole word. In summary, we are hard working on a wide variety of projects and I hope in the near future we would make our dream becoming true.
