It is sometimes said that a high salary is the most important factor. IELTS WRITTING TASK2

Hello everybody,

I will attend the IELTS exam on October. I hope someone give me a favor.
If you can help me to check my writting,I will be gald.
Thank for your time for reading.

a new job - consider the money only?

IELTS WRITTING TASK2
It is sometimes said that a high salary is the most important factor in choosing a job.Do you agree or disagree?

In modern time, looking for an excellent job can enhance one's quality of life. Most people believed that hight salary is the key element in all reason. I disagree with this point. The statement will be addressed

One of the most controversial issues related to high revenue can not enough afford the extra expense. This is due to the fact that lots of enterprises concentrate in the business zone of the city which offers high payment to absorb competent staff from other places so that people's expenditure will increase in traffic, rent of house and price of a commodity. In addition, it is difficult to save the deposit for other plans in the future. According to the news, some employee who lives in the city should spend 15years to own house without eating and playing. As a result, their income almost equal to livelihood who live in there. It is a challenge to balance a successful career and a comfortable life.

There is no doubt that a wide range of development of career is more critical than a high salary. The main idea behind this is, the company's culture and regulation affect their talent and value in the workplace. Furthermore, strong resource and personal training is an invisible wealth to increase their profession. It is common to see that a successful company gives staff more opportunity to express their mind and accept innovation. They not only earn money but also obtain achievement.

Given the above statement, it is reasonable to conclude that choosing the job is not just consider the money. In my point of view,I believe that saving and development will affect one's ability in workplace.

In modern time --> in the modern word/ in modern times
Most people believed
key element in all reason--> for a variety of reasons
I disagree with this point of view
The statement will be addressed ( not really sure I understood this sentence )
They do not just earn money but also..